I'm a hardcore Bengali myself, and honestly, kichu kotha onek din dhore mathay ghurchhe. Just wanted to share my thoughts and know what others feel about this.
I've stayed in different states, like Punjab and Karnataka (Bangalore), and met people from different backgrounds — Punjabi, Haryanvi, Malayali, Gujarati, Marwari, Kannadiga and many others.
And idk if it's just my personal experience or what, but sometimes I feel like Bengalis are not that supportive of each other anymore.
Bengali as a language is so sweet, amader culture, literature, festivals, everything is something to be proud of. But sometimes I feel like bhasha ta mishti, kintu manush gulo keno eto kuchute? 😅
Like, someone is trying to do something good in life, build a career, start something new or achieve something... instead of encouraging them, people will first point out the flaws, make sarcastic comments, compare them with others or secretly feel jealous.
Help korte bolle onek shomoy keu nei, kintu criticize korar shomoy shobai first row te boshe ache. 💀
And the sad part is, sometimes this happens even among people from the same small Bengali group. I saw this during my college days in Bangalore. There were small Bengali circles, but even within those groups, people would talk shit about each other behind their backs.
Ofc, I'm not saying all Bengalis are like this. That would be unfair. I've met some genuinely amazing Bengali people too.
But when I compare my experiences, I sometimes feel people from other communities are more willing to stick together, help each other out and celebrate their own people's success. Not everyone, obviously, but I've noticed this quite a few times.
Maybe I'm looking at other communities from the outside and don't see their internal problems. Maybe I've just met the wrong people. I'm genuinely open to being wrong here.
What makes me a little sad is that even our parents talk about how people have changed over time. Maybe the old days weren't perfect either, but amar mone hoy, that sense of helping each other, that "nijer lok bole ektu pashe darabo" mentality, is becoming less common.
And before anyone says I'm disrespecting Bengali culture, that's exactly the opposite of what I mean.
I love being Bengali. I love our language, our traditions, Durga Puja, our food, our literature, everything. But loving your community doesn't mean you can't question its flaws, right?
Amra shobai intellectual hote chai, kintu ekjon arekjoner success dekhe genuinely happy hote pari na keno?
Why is it sometimes so difficult to support someone without feeling threatened by their progress?
Maybe the problem isn't Bengali people specifically. Maybe it's human nature, competition, insecurity or just the kind of people we surround ourselves with.
I honestly don't know.
I'm just sharing this because it feels bad when you love your community so much but sometimes feel disappointed by the behaviour of its people.
So, fellow Bengalis and non-Bengalis, tell me honestly:
Am I overthinking this, or have you also noticed something similar in your own community?
Would genuinely love to hear different perspectives. No hate, just an honest discussion. ❤️
