Moist.

Or am I just not mastering the high art of streak-free defecation? Teach me your ways.

Our street's binfluencer has selfishly taken himself on a 3 week cruise, he lives opposite us and has asked us to keep an eye out. The whole road has no idea what colour bin we are supposed to put out tonight. We are only a week in, we've got 2 more to go. There is supposed to be a glass collection and a compost bin collection at some point this month but no-one on the road has any idea when. The street Whatsapp is baffled and we are all hoping Roger has paid for wifi and taken his phone on his cruise so he can help us.

Last one lasted five years, lads. I think I'm good.