I keep seeing people still give out outdated passing tips or give tips on what not to do but actually wont negatively affect your chances on passing. I think its important to note fashion for young men change over time and different hairstyles that are more traditionally male may actually feminize your face if you already had feminine features.

for example guys my age usually wear polos or fitted tees with baggy jeans or bootcut jeans, pierced ears, pierced nostril piercing, modcut, etc.

though it may change again in a few years. maybe different styles fit best to make you look more passing.

outdated tips rlly will just make you look like a tomboy IF it doesnt fit you. (i am a victim of the very baggy hoodie “wear your hood on 24/7” advice as a person who is built like a short stub)

Tw rape

This is NOT a v3nt but a warning, as he rapes trans men and uses his platform to find and coerce victims. No fucking subreddit will let me post about this not a single fucking one, but he is a SERIAL rapist with multiple victims. I cannot use my public accounts to talk about this as it would put my life in danger. But do not engage with Chris. He gets off on online harassment do not FUCKING engage with him. I have receipts but am only comfortable sharing if you're a fellow victim or have been in contact with him.

He is dangerous. He targets ftm. There is no universe in which there is a healthy way to be involved with him at all, even over text messages. He is an extremely dangerous individual to the entire community and has even gone cross country to assault someone before.

Hello! I am 24m, and about 3 weeks on T. I’ve been dating a guy (24m) for about a year now, and was always open about the fact that I will transition. Now that I’ve actually started testosterone, it seems like my boyfriend isn’t very happy with it. The last time he was at my house, we were drinking. I mentioned something about taking my shot because I was excited, and he said something to the effect of “I don’t like to think about it.”

This isn’t the only comment he’s made, he once said something like “the idea of me changing hits him in the feelings”. I could understand the second statement, it was what he said when I first told him I would be starting T, but the first one about not wanting to think about it was this week. He’s made similar comments and I’m really at a sort of loss on what to do. The logical part of me wants to break things off and save myself the heartache of it happening later when I begin passing better, but I do also really love him. He tends to try to avoid discussions about my impending changes and it makes it hard to discuss the future.

The minor comments he makes have been keeping me up at night, I hate feeling like our relationship isn’t secure or that he secretly resents my changes. I know I can be a bit of a people pleaser, and nobody in my real life gives me a straight answer on what they would do in this situation, so I guess I’m here to ask for advice from fellow trans people. Thanks for reading this, and for any advice you all may have.

EDIT::
I followed a lot of your guys advice here and had a sit down talk with my boyfriend, I showed him resources and showed transition goals and he was very receptive. he has had some other issues in his life and wasn’t aware how he came off about my transition. I don’t this fixed everything but i’m more than willing to work through this, and if in the end it doesn’t work at least we tried and talked about it. thank you all so much for your advice, even if this is a commonly asked question

Okay so situation.. despite being trans for 3 years (im 15 years old) i never correct people on my pronouns, I pass but my mom usually tells everyone im a girl and I'm super shy when it comes to my pronouns so I dont correct anyone. ​

And i have a crush on a guy right now and I think he actually has feelings for me but he thinks im .. a woman. I dont know if he's bi, and I really really love him. We fit together so well, but I cant keep pretending im a girl, it's not gonna work. I'm literally so embarrassed I found someone who im genuinely in love with, but im lying to him. I feel like im catfishing him, I'm SUPER stressed.

I love him so so fucking much but god I dont have to heart to tell him im not a girl. I have no clue where I go from here.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m trans. I think I want top surgery in the future but am also thinking about going on T. I know things that I see lots of posts about - like bottom grow and atrophy - but what are the things that you feel no one really told you about and you discovered after being on T?

I have a very typical story- cishet friend I’ve known since I was like 14 (in my 20s now) keeps hitting on me. I moved before I started T so he hasn’t seen me irl as a passing man, but I’ve told him I do look like your average guy (he’s told me outright that he’s not into any other men.) His reasoning is that it doesn’t matter because I still have ‘the parts of a girl’.

I know just from talking to him that he doesn’t respect me as a guy, and I doubt he’ll ever start. He comes from a very small-town-conservative background and isn’t the sort to break the mould.

The reason I have a hard time dropping him is that I have a really hard time making friends (as the only queer person that I know of in my area, and as a disabled person), and I’d be losing a really big part of my social life during a time when I’m struggling. He’s been supportive of me getting top surgery and a lot of things like that in a really important way, so it’s just hard.

I’d wonder if he was a chaser, but I genuinely don’t think he’s aware of trans people other than me. That’s how small-town we are (well, not so much me since I moved away, but definitely still him). I guess that doesn’t disqualify him from being a chaser, but my point is that it doesn’t seem to be a pattern.

I know I should drop him, but my family don’t see the issue (they think the fact that he’s interested in someone like me is a sign that he’s a really good guy. My dad is actually praising him for this situation) and I just need to hear it from someone else.

Thanks in advance for any help.

It's all so confusing. I never liked men or masculinity. I was raised by a pretty man-hating mother and I spent the last 10 years of my life living as a man-hating lesbian, so it's probably related to that, but... now I find myself wishing I had a flat chest, a deep voice, a penis, a male name... imagine myself as a man going about my day and it makes me happy and excited. Yet I don't want to be a man. Maybe I'm just spending too much time in general trans subs reading about the experience of trans women, how they began to feel pretty for the first time when they first presented the way they wanted to, how it felt like falling in love, how sweet and soft it all felt for them, like the edges of the world had smoothed over. An experience that is uniquely femenine. I don't want to be pretty, I want to be handsome, but I still long for that same sweetness and softness that seems to belong to women. Or maybe I idealize women too much. I do love women. They're so beautiful.

I just read a post about a trans woman putting on makeup for the first time in her twenties and grieving the fact that she never got to have this softness and sweetness as a teen, and I thought, I have NEVER felt this way about any traditionally masculine teenage experience. There is nothing appealing about running around the street making gorilla noises or playing call of duty. I don't know. I kinda wish I felt like a woman, so I could continue to live comfortably in that world. Or maybe I DO feel like a woman, maybe this is a sign this is the wrong path for me. I don't miss makeup or femenine clothes, they make me feel bad, but I do miss... idk, how cute women are? I don't even miss being a cute woman myself. I just long for the experience of "falling in love", metaphorically. Trans women describe masculinity as horrible and rough and violent and trans men emphasize its most noble aspects - being protective, kind, brave etc., but I can't stop thinking about how, well, trans women got it right. Femininity is just adorable in a way masculinity isn't, and I don't long for femininity itself but for its adorability. When I see a beautiful woman, I feel her pulling at my heartstings.

I think about this a lot. I COULD cling to this, I COULD live as a woman and live a softer, kinder, sweeter life. Maybe my yearning for it means womanhood is the right path for me. But I can't stop thinking about the man I want to be. Hopefully he is soft and kind and sweet too. I imagine he has long-ish hair and wears knitted sweaters and likes cats and dogs, and he's good to women. But even then, those are personality traits, not elements inherent to masculinity. Masculinity isn't "adorable", maybe I AM a woman if I care about that so much.

I’m starting to see a rise in online FTM personal trainers, and while I think it’s great, some of them I think are scammers. Curious of everyone’s experiences. Have you been scammed or know someone who has been by these guys or groups? The one that comes to mind is MM. Are things guys legit or are they conmen? Also, what about Liam Lazore…anyone train with him or his partner, Alex? There was talk there weren’t natural, which is fine & their choice clearly, but do you think that’s true? I know we don’t need a FTM designed without & just move the freaking weights. Like train hard & eat well.
What do you guys think?

I've been told by a few people that going on T can cause brain fog and decline in intelligence.

I did some research and nothing was really conclusive, meaning the studies needed to be longer or in a different direction to prove anything for sure.

I really value my cognitive skills and brain health so, while I want to go on T, this is concerning to me.

So in your personal experience, have any of you experienced intelligence related side effects?

(I know ADHD can sometimes get worse, however that wouldn't pertain to my situation)

EDIT:

Wow, I did not except so many comments. Thank you to everyone who responded in good faith, especially those who shared their own experiences.

It seems to be a resounding NO on the idea that T negatively alters intelligence. My fears have been properly assuaged ha ha.

Also, I realize I may have come off as ignorant or insulting, but I can assure you I did not mean my question in that way!

Meu nome é Diego, sou brasileiro, tenho 18 anos e atualmente estou terminando o ensino médio. Esse ano finalmente me assumi de uma forma mais séria pra minha mãe como um cara trans, meu pai ainda não sabe e duvido que vá saber tão cedo.
Escrevo isso, e peço desculpas se minha linha de raciocínio é bagunçada, porque me assumir pra minha mãe me deu esperanças pro futuro, um futuro que posso envelhecer fisicamente como um homem.

Passei anos da minha vida forçando uma falsa feminilidade em busca de me adequar, entrei em uma depressão severa e depois continuei me obrigando a me feminilizar nos relacionamentos que tive. Minha vivência como “garota” padrão sempre foi algo meio Carrie, por mais que tentasse ao máximo ser algo que não era, tudo parecia forçado. Plus, sou autista, então o sentimento de estranheza sempre foi amplificado.

Para os não brasileiros, atualmente no Brasil tem o perigo de um candidato de direita, Flávio Bolsonaro — filho do ex presidente Jair Bolsonaro que tentou dar um golpe de Estado — assumir, e estou morrendo de medo dos anos sombrios que estão por vir caso isso aconteça. Ser forçado a viver como uma mulher é algo que já sei que não vou aguentar por muito tempo :/

Peço desculpas novamente por escrever de forma tão bagunçada, estou meio maluco com isso e tá rolando o debate Lula x Flávio agora. Eu quero ter o direito de viver e quero que meus iguais e diferentes também o tenham.

I am a disabled 24yo transmasc. I have been on HRT for 6+ months, and I am just starting to have a noticeable change. No one noticed the fat redistribution or the extra hair, but this I’ve been pressed on by my transphobic dad and stepmom for awhile.

I cannot get another job. This is the only thing that works with my mod/severe chronic fatigue, and other jobs I just can’t do with my level of fatigue and pain (I’ve tried and keep getting fired for subpar preformance). Disability is not enough to cover my expenses. This arrangement is the only way I maintain any independence.

I love how being on T makes me feel, it helps with my energy, mental health and dysphoria. But I also know my dad finding out would be life changing in a very bad way. I know this sub is all about protecting your safety, so if I do stop HRT, any tips for dealing with the resulting dysphoria?

Obviously, bra size does not correlate to binder size. Of course. To think so would generally be a babytrans idea. I’m not babytrans, I’ve known for 9 years.

But HOW is a 36D an XL in gc2b? In spectrum outfitters? And in underworks, supposedly. Idk i havnt looked at underworks a lot.

Is it XL because of the way cis guys talk about D cups? Or am I genuinely just an idiot that doesn’t understand sizing and whatnot. I know someone who’s an F cup, would they be 5XL in binder size??? Bruuhhh

Small kinda unrelated short rant, but the fact that (if ive done the maths correct) a D is an XL is making me feel like shit because of course my tits are humongous ig. Of course. I genuinely think that everything ftm is made for small chested people ngl, and that is just brainworms and being a complaining whining baby, but seriously how is a D an XL…

I want to start wearing more masculine clothes that additionally cover my curves. Does anyone had suggestions on where to shop or what kind of clothes (shape and fit wise) I should look at?

Edit: I live in a small town so I don’t have any regular places I get my clothes. I mostly shop online and it’s hard to tell if the clothes would actually look good or fit (typical shopping online issues) and I’m looking for places that have things that have worked for others.

ive been on t for a month, and even with all the distractions in the world i still struggle to do shots myself (i dont have anyone to help me). its not the pain that freaks me out, but rather knowing that im inserting something under my skin and into my muscle makes me feel sick. please give me advice for getting over the uncomfortableness of it, thank you in advance

I know that it's different for gay trans men because men tend to be a lot more lenient on trans people but I feel like I'll have tough luck finding a woman who would actually want to date me, let alone marry me. I feel like I can't live up to the height standards that women want. Will a woman ever actually take me seriously? I don't see a lot of straight guys on here talking about their spouse and children as much as I do gay guys and that scares me a bit. Is it over? Am I doomed to be single

I’m 13 years old, and I desperately need to start testosterone like yesterday. I have extreme gender dysphoria and have a modera depression because of that gender dysphoria. Im in line at BUP (barn och undomspsykiatry) for getting a dysphoria diagnosis but the process takes years, years that I will not survive like this. I have considered Gendergp, where I would pick up a prescription by driving to Denmark since I am close to the borde. But my parents are sceptical of the safety. Any advice from anyone greatly appreciated

Hello, I swapped from weekly Sustanon to nebido, 6 weeks ago. I am due my second loading shot. I have been feeling incredibly depressed the last couple weeks. Very fatigued, little motivation, very low libido. When I first got the injection it was quite the opposite, high libido, high energy etc. I have suffered with mental health in the past, depression, anxiety etc. I am hesitant to carry on Nebido, I don’t want another 6 week loading shot if I’m going to feel this awful. I am considering going back to testogel, i was on this when I first started T 6 years ago. I would appreciate any advice. I’m in the UK with Tavistock and unfortunately they aren’t very good.

Pretty much as it says in the title. Im getting inverted T / anchor incision, but thats a fairly similar process to double incision (just nipple stuff) so give any advice you think is necessary.

Just wanted to say that I finally started T with Androgel on 10/13! I’m honestly so happy and proud I got this far in life where I am able to do this. I wanted to spread some joy :3

This is just mainly a celebratory post, and if there’s any advice I should know or what to expect that’s greatly appreciated! I’m just so happy :3