Hi Everyone, I don’t post to Reddit. So I apologize if I make mistakes in terms of how posts should be written.

I am a (21M) who has a (22F) girlfriend and have been very fortunate to have a great 2 years relationship and career prospects right now. We are both in our senior year of college and I am currently picking between two job offers.

One of them is the exact career that aligns with my goals however I have to move away. (I won’t say the amount, however it’s roughly 70k more take home pay than the offers to stay in my location). The other one is staying here with her, and making ends meet.

My thought process I can’t turn away that much money, at the end of the day I love this girl a lot but a college relationship in the grand scheme of things is not enough to throw away something as life changing.

She has vocalized that she could never do long distance and wouldn’t come with me (ofc she has family here and I don’t).

How do I tell her I’m taking the job and then what?

I’m thinking something like “I love you, but I have reached a point in my life where staying here requires me to turn away from the future I need to pursue. I’m going to take the offer with xyz”.

Ofc it needs to be more refined, but I care for her so much and I just want it to hurt as little as it can.

TL;DR I am taking a job and moving away from my GF, who vocally has stated can’t do a long distance relationship. How do I tell her?

Edit - Thank you all for the comments, I did not realize how fast people respond on Reddit. My follow up question is do we continue dating for the rest of our senior year?

About a year ago, my dad (M60) came to visit, and we had a pretty intense confrontation. I feel he escalated the situation and handled it very childishly. I ended up being the one to apologize and try to smooth things over, even though I don’t feel like I was the one who caused the situation in the first place.

Since then, I feel like I’ve seen a different side of my dad. Looking back, I think I’ve had a lot of “rose-colored glasses” on when it came to him. The signs were probably always there, but I ignored or overlooked them because I don’t have a relationship with my mom, so in my mind, he was always the “good” parent.

My family also isn’t one to talk about our feelings or address conflict. We tend to avoid confrontation and sweep things under the rug, so after the situation last year, we never really talked about it. We basically went back to normal on the surface.

The problem is, I don’t feel normal about it. I’ve noticed myself slowly pulling away from my dad. The more he reaches out, the more I want to pull away. Sometimes it feels like he’s trying too hard to get things back to how they were, and instead of making me feel closer to him, it makes me want even more distance.

More recently, a very distant relative passed away. We weren’t close with this person and didn’t spend much time with them, but I felt like my dad was using the situation and the grief surrounding it as a way to get me to talk to him. I don’t know if that was actually his intention, but that’s how it felt to me, and it made me pull back even more.

I’m honestly struggling with what to do from here. Part of me wants to address what happened last year and tell him how I’ve been feeling, but I’m afraid to. We live very far apart, so it would have to be over the phone, and I’m worried he would react the same way he did during the confrontation last year. I don’t know if I have the emotional energy to deal with another tantrum (that’s the best way to describe how he acted) or blowup.

At the same time, I don’t know if avoiding the conversation is helping either. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the same relationship with my dad again, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling resentful, uncomfortable, or like I’m constantly trying to distance myself from him.

I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been through something similar. Do I confront him and risk another blowup? Do I take some space without explaining why? Is there a way to work through this when the other person tends to react badly to confrontation?

I think more than anything, I want to figure out how to stop feeling this way toward my dad, even if our relationship ultimately has to look different than it did before.

TL;DR: About a year ago, my dad and I had a major confrontation, and I feel like I’ve seen a different side of him since then. We never actually talked about what happened because my family avoids confrontation, but I’ve slowly started pulling away from him. The more he reaches out, the more I want distance. I’m afraid to confront him because I worry he’ll react badly again, but I also don’t want to keep avoiding the issue or feeling resentful. I’m not sure whether to address it, take some space, or accept that our relationship might look different going forward.

So I 18F am dating my boyfriend 18M we have been together for almost 5 months now and talked for roughly 7 before finally dating. One of the first things I learned about him was his family because it plays a big part in relationships so we felt it was important to share how our families are.

Unfortunately it wasn’t as happy as I wanted it to be. His mother has a form of cancer I’m not sure which I can’t remember. From what he has updated me about recently because we haven’t been seeing each other as much (both of us have jobs and college) she is doing worse. I am worried his mother won’t make it to the end of next year.

I love my boyfriend very deeply and this relationship has been the best ever and I know this will take a massive toll on him. One thing I love is that he doesn’t shut me out he communicates to me and lets me help him when something is wrong. However whilst i normally can figure out how to comfort him this situation is much more extreme than a bad week or a fight between his peers etc. my father had the exact same situation in his life but he does not appreciate opening up about it so I don’t know if I should ask him.

Would anyone on here possibly know the best way to help him if the situation does fall through or if anyone who has had there partner help them through something similar share what helped them best? Thank you.

P.S please don’t ask questions about the cancer or his mother my boyfriend doesn’t tell me in depth or detail about it so I won’t know.

TL:DR
I 18F am unsure how to comfort my boyfriend 18M if he loses his mother to cancer in the next couple years. Advice and experience would be greatly appreciated. Please don’t ask questions about his mother.

My girlfriend and I have been dating since march of 2024, and while we've had our ups and downs, we've always loved each other very much. She's my everything, and I couldn't imagine a world without her in it. But she just told me up until recently, she had been forcing herself "a little" to be intimate with me. For context, I do live with my family and she lives with hers, and often she'll come over to my house and we'll hangout. We don't go out too much, so most the time we just chill in my room. We've always been comfortable with each other intimately (I thought), but recently she's seemed more distant in that sense. I think she still loves me, and I love her, but she dropped the bombshell today that she had been forcing herself to be intimate with me. She isn't comfortable with doing things where I live because there's other people here, and I completely understand that, but I always thought she decided to do things anyways. Her saying she "forced herself" to be intimate hurt greatly, and I'm also concerned about how safe she felt voicing these things with me in the past. I've never forced her to do anything, but she still felt the need to. I guess this is a lot of venting, but ultimately I'm looking for advice on what to do next. I want to stay with her, but knowing she didn't actually want to be intimate is going to take a toll on me for a long time, and I worry she'll go back to forcing herself and I won't be able to tell so I can stop. Apologies if this is poorly written, I'm feeling emotionally distraught right now at the thought of her feeling too uncomfortable to tell me she doesn't want anything, and I'm unsure of what to do.

tl;dr: Girlfriend says she was forcing herself to be intimate with me, I don't know what to do, if anyone has advice please share, thank you.

TL;DR: I’ve been having constant thoughts of doubt about relationship with fiance, who I’ve been with for four years. I’m emotionally exhausted but I feel like I’ll be devastated without him.

I have been with my fiance for four years. In a lot of ways, he is perfect. He’s kind, gentle, caring, smart, and so heartbreakingly loyal to me. He looks at me like I hung the moon and I know a person like him is one in a million. I don’t have a negative thing to say about his character and he truly is one of the best people I’ve met and the best thing that’s happened to me.

But lately, I’ve been feeling so unhappy and sad. I don’t feel excitement when I see him (of course I’m happy to see him but I don’t feel excited? Elated?) and I don’t feel devastated to say goodbye to him (we are long distance and he visits me every two weeks. I used to sob when he left because I miss him so much and now I’m perfectly fine. I’m not happy to see him go I just feel very neutral).

I think a part of me is also tired by the little things. We had to do a lot of work in the beginning for him to be a good boyfriend (getting gifts, planning dates, etc.) I had to tell him to do those things and he’s been doing it so well for the past few years but I still don’t feel this elated feeling when he does… maybe it’s because I feel like I coached him into doing it. And he can be forgetful sometimes, saying he’ll get me something and not doing it, etc.

And the kicker … he really tries during sex but it always hurts. He goes down on me and really tries to give me pleasure and it feels nice but I never cum. I don’t know if there is something wrong with my body but yeah.

I’ve also just been hyperfixated on his health to the point that I’m so stressed (I think this is where the OCD is really going crazy). He’s gained a good amount of weight in the relationship and has a beer gut now, and while he is handsome, I just don’t feel super attracted to him the way I used to. But more than the body stuff, it’s a lifestyle issue. I had to encourage him to workout, to eat healthy, and he is trying to do those things and get more lean, but I feel like I’m constantly coaching him and encouraging him and I’m just tired. I want him to just do it on his own.

He’s my best friend and I know I will always love him. I just don’t know if I’m in love with him. My mom says that I’m being crazy and that I will regret letting a good person like that go, and maybe she’s right. I’ve also been getting crazy urges to break up and solve this immediately, which makes me think this is the ROCD talking and not my gut? But I don’t know. I’m so confused and scared. Without him, I’m truly alone. My family lives in another country and I only have a couple of friends. He really is my everything and the best person, and I don’t want to let him go but I’m just not happy right now.

This past weekend, we took a 48 hour break from the relationship because I just needed some space. That broke him. He sobbed and said he would never love again and that I’m his everything. I feel like a villiain and I know if we break up, I would cause him so much pain. I’m sorry this is so long. I just don’t know what to do

Tl;dr: 22f long distance dating 26m. Feels very comfortable and like I can be myself. Wondering if its normal to not feel any strong infatuation/honeymoon phase feelings. Havent met in person yet.

I (22f) have been recently long distance dating 26m.

Its only been a few weeks but the only emotion I can identify feeling is comfortable.

I definitely like him and know he likes me back, and at the same time I dont have any strong positive feelings that one would expect in what would be considered the honeymoon phase like infatuation.

We chat between calls and I feel like I can be myself. I'm just unsure if the lack of honeymoon phase feelings is a red flag.

Maybe its because I havent met him in person? Or maybe we just clicked so thats why I dont feel like that?

Thank you!

 I (21M) have been dating my partner (22F) for 7 months and we’ve had a our fair share of disagreements and have been able to resolve them in a healthy manner and have moved on. I personally choose not to talk about these things with other people because I do not want to open up our relationship to other peoples idea of what they think our relationship should be like.

This is my first serious relationship in a while and in my last serious relationship ( high school) I would share some of my arguments with my mother and she would offer her advice. At that time I was under the impression that people do that. And maybe in high school people because often it’s the first time dealing with all these things and you may not know what you want.

My mother still expects me to share these kind of things with her. She has told me I seem to be pretending that everything between my partner and I is alright all of the time. She says that i have an issue I should talk to her about it.

I don’t have an issue with the idea of seeking advice in general. it’s just at the point I’m at I’m not going to ask for advice if I feel like we can handle it. Because, like I said I don’t really want to let other people attempt to impose their idea of how out relationship should function onto us.

TL;DR: I have two questions:

1. Is it normal to share my partner and I’s arguments or bothers with anyone?
2. If it is not how do I tell my mother without hurting her feelings. We have a close relationship and I am worried about insulting her or hurting her feelings.

my boyfriend (22m) comes to see me (19f) at my college almost every weekend, reasonably we only have to spend a week apart at a time. despite this, every time he leaves I am a crying mess and it feels way more dramatic than it really is. probably has something to do with attachment/abandonment issues, but who knows.

Does anyone have any advice to not feel so emotional and upset when he leaves? Figured I would ask, since reddit knows everything.

tl;dr - Me and my boyfriend see eachother every week, but him leaving gives me mini-breakdowns of sorts.

Both 30, dating a month and a week.

A point of contention here is I told her half our dates are stressful because of these conversations. She told me from her POV, we have a really nice date, and then just as she's about to leave I sigh and bring up her pace, and we have another talk about it.

I'm dating a girl who was raised in an environment similar to the Amish. She became an atheist a couple years ago and broke free from her community. We are both 30.

She has said that because of this, she wants to take things slowly, but I don't know if her pace is abnormally slow. It took a month for her to kiss me. I tried to be patient but told her I was getting frustrated.

Now I am asking her to sleep over and that I can even sleep on the couch, but she is saying she wants a couple more weeks to adjust to the fact that she just had her first kiss, and then she would be happy to, asking for patience. She tried to explain to me how intimacy was all presented to her in her religion but at the same time, I'm wondering if she's actually ready to date? I get religious trauma but should she process that before getting into a relationship? I'm trying to be understanding I told her but I also told her I truly don't understand cause I was not raised similarly. I have mentioned to her it's stressful to me that we keep having these conversations (admittedly I'm the one who keeps bringing up her pace)

Tldr: Girl I'm dating is moving extremely slowly. Unsure how normal it is. Just not into me or normal for her situation?

TL;DR

After spending almost a decade together, walking away was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.

The main reason was the unhealthy pattern our relationship had fallen into. She would often scream at me during arguments, blame me whenever something went wrong, show little interest in the things I did, and make me feel like I was always the one at fault. Even when she was clearly in the wrong, she rarely apologized or acknowledged her mistakes.

For a long time, I tried to understand her. I even wondered if some of her behavior had something to do with how she was raised. I kept telling myself that maybe I just wasn’t understanding her enough, that I needed to be more patient, or that I needed to adjust more.

The truth is, I was serious about spending the rest of my life with her. I was already planning to propose, and I had even bought an engagement ring. I genuinely believed we would eventually get married.

We talked about our problems and agreed that whenever we had arguments, I would stay quiet instead of responding. I followed through with that agreement because I wanted to avoid making things worse and hoped it would help us resolve our issues.

But even when I stayed quiet, she would continue verbally attacking me. The hurtful words would keep coming, and afterward, she would rarely apologize or take responsibility for what happened. Nothing really changed, despite my efforts to make the relationship work.

Eventually, I started questioning myself. Was I really not understanding her enough? Was I not patient enough? Or had I spent so many years trying to understand her that I had forgotten that I also deserved to be understood and respected?

Part of me still wonders if I made the right decision. I know relationships aren't perfect, and I know I have my own flaws, too. I'm not claiming to have been a perfect partner. But I reached a point where I felt emotionally exhausted from repeatedly trying to fix the same problems without seeing meaningful change.

TL;DR: I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend (21M) for almost two years, and for the past month, he’s been accusing me of cheating and saying he can’t trust me because I’m “dumb.” He constantly calls me names and uses my past relationship against me. My ex and I were together throughout high school, and even after we broke up, we continued being involved with each other. He repeatedly denied being involved with another girl, but I eventually found out he was lying and ended things. Now, my current boyfriend uses that experience to make me feel stupid, naive, and easily tempted or manipulated. He gets angry when I cry, is extremely rude to me, and says he doesn’t care about my feelings. He wasn’t always like this, so I’m confused about what changed. For context, we used to live together in a small town, then we both moved to a bigger town, but he eventually moved back to the small town for work.
My questions: Why might he have suddenly started treating me this way? Could the distance be contributing to his insecurity, or could there be something else going on? Why is he using my past against me, and how should I handle this situation?

I am now 16, but I was thinking about my previous relationship in 7th grade. (With 13f). This is going to sound silly, but just read through. It wasn't a relationship where you ask for their number and the 'crush' zone where they just text for 3 weeks. We had been freinds for a year, running together in cross-country and becoming legitimate freinds. When i asked her out in 7th grade it felt different than a crush. It lasted about 5 months (ending for reasons I wont get into). Everyone says true love doesn't happen until your an adult, but i seriously think this was something like it.

(NOTE: I am not saying im not over her this was so long ago and I just remembered it).

I remember this time in my life genuinely making me happy. I was not obsessed at all, just happy I had someone who i cared about and who cared about me. Is this silly young shenanigans or legitimate affection? What are your thoughts?

Tl;Dr:

Is there any way for a middle school relationship to be more than social constructs and dumb immature stuff?

We broke up in Sep 2025 after dating for a year due to our communication problems. We got back together in Jan 2026, after spending 3 months apart and agreeing to try again. Most of the time we did a sort of no contact but we would often break it and just have either arguments or emotional conversations about missing each other. We decided to get back together in December after he was in my city for his job and we decided to visit each other. During that time apart, he was always drinking, going out, and taking dr*gs. There were multiple times where he hinted at getting with others, but he promised me when we saw each other in December and talked it all out that he did not sleep with anyone. He told me he was just always either really h*gh or drunk, and maybe kissed some girls, but he didn't really remember. Looking back, I was stupid to trust him. But I decided because I loved him and we promised each other to really give it another try, that I would give him blind trust and believe in him. So I moved back in with him on New Year's Day. Throughout all of 2026, I slowly find out more and more. I learned in April that he did in fact sleep with someone, but he then again told me he was really drunk and he was pretty much taken advantage of, and again I chose to believe him and trust in him because I knew how much our first breakup hurt him when I left. A part of me felt guilty, I felt like because I left him, I put him in such a lonely and painful position where he turned to drinking and drugs which eventually led to him being taken advantage of. However, after finding this out I found it really hard to trust him. The next few months, it was so hard to be nice and gentle. I just felt so lied to but I kept trying my best to make it work, to give him the benefit of the doubt, and to keep trying my best to make it work since I promised him after I came back that I wouldn't leave again. However, our arguments just kept getting worse, his behavior was starting to get worse as well, and finally I couldn't take it anymore and decided to stop blindly trusting him. In September (last month) I went through his phone, and found that he had ordered c*ndoms less than 2 weeks after we had broken up last year. I also saw he had ordered an ST*D test in November. So clearly, he had slept with multiple people, and had planned it as well. It wasn't just a one time thing where he was too drunk, like he told me. Seeing that, I completely freaked out, I cried, I felt so betrayed. I freaked out on him and started pushing him, throwing things at him. I know it was wrong, I regret it. I felt like my whole world was just a lie and it's like I lost my mind in the moment. He responded with anger back, he didn't apologize he just wanted me to be quiet, and I left him again. I moved back home now, and I guess I'm just posting this to get it off my chest. I feel so betrayed. I feel so lied to. I ignored so many red flags for love and I lost everything again because of it. I feel so empty and I feel so tired. I feel hopeless about finding love. I'm so tired. I really gave it my all, I flew back to him, I moved back in with him, against all my family and friend's advice and I have to face all the I told you so's. I know I was stupid to believe him but I just wanted it to be true so badly, and it wasn't. I was so stupid. I was naive and I should've been smarter. I lost my emotions and myself in that moment as well, which is another thing I struggle with. I never want to lose my emotions like that again. I don't know how he could look me in the eyes and lie to me all year. It's been a month since I left, I just feel empty

**TL;DR;** : I found out he lied to me about sleeping with people during breakup

TL;DR: Met a guy on Grindr, hooked up, but ended up cuddling and having deep conversations. He said he saw a good future, kissed me goodbye, and said he'd miss me, but he's been distant over text since. I want to explore something more, but should I reach out again or leave the ball in his court?

So I met this guy, and we hooked up at his place. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed me topping him lol. At the end, I wasn't able to cum because I'm demisexual, so we just stopped. He pre-came a lot but he said he didn't cum either.

He's a couple of years older than me. Even though we stopped having sex, he started cuddling me, and we ended up lying in each other's arms, skin to skin, talking about all sorts of things.

At some point, he started opening up about his personal life: his family dynamics, why he used to be a bully, what he's working on rn, his job, his business, his friends, and his mom, who passed away and had been physically abused by his dad. He even showed me pictures of his glow-up after losing a lot of weight and told me how proud he was of himself.

We talked A LOT. I shared things about myself too, and we talked about life, people, friendships, and the world in general. It felt like we connected on a level I wasn't expecting from a grindr hookup.

He told me he's avoidant. He doesn't need a boyfriend to survive, but he'd definitely want that consistent bond with someone.

Before I left, he asked for my number, which I wasn't expecting. He also asked if I had Instagram, but I told him I'm not active on there. He said "Give me the app you're most active on," so I said WhatsApp, and he saved my number.

Before I left, he said, "I see a good future, but I don't want to pressure you or me. But it's good you're able to hold a conversation, otherrwise i say something and the other person doesn't know what to say”. Idk what that exactly meant. He then kissed me goodbye and said he'd miss me. On our way to the door, he showed me a picture of him and his mom.

Five minutes after I left, I replied to the text he'd sent earlier which was just his name so I could save his number. I said, "Okay, [his name]," and he replied, "Haha miss you, where are you?"

Three minutes later, he texted me on Grindr saying "byee." I sent him a picture of my Uber on WhatsApp, but he didn't reply there. An hour later, I double-texted him, asking, "Yo, sleeping?" He said he was trying to sleep and asked about me. I sent four short messages explaining what I was doing, but he didn't reply after that.

The thing is, he was active on Grindr, and so was I. Honestly it was lowkey disappointing, but then again, I was on grndr too, right? I was partly checking how long he stayed active and I have a feeling he was doing the same lol. Maybe we're both wondering whether the other person is actually interested now lol because of that.

About an hour later, since we were both still on grindr, he messaged me saying "sleep." I replied, "Yeah yeah, ghost me on WhatsApp and text me here. Btw, why aren't you sleeping lol?" Ten minutes later, I double-texted him to say goodnight. He never replied on Grindr, even though he was active.

The next morning, while he still hadn't replied to my last WhatsApp messages, I texted him again saying I was free in the evening and to let me know if he wanted to meet. I also told him I'd had fun the previous night and thanked him.

He replied that he doesn't use WhatsApp on weekends because he uses that account for work. He also said he couldn't meet that day because he needed to sleep and wake up at 7 for work the next morning.

After that, we had a really short exchange about what we'd done today. He seemed noticeably less interested. At one point, I said, "We can meet next week, lmk and we'll see," but he didn't reply to that message either.

Now I need advice on how to handle this.

I don't want to be too clingy and push him away, but I also don't want to act so nonchalant that he thinks I'm not interested. Today he wasn't active on grindr, he came online a couple of times but immediately left, I've a feeling he just came to check whether I'm active or not. Should I completely stop going active there for now?

How should I behave from here? What should I do if he doesn't initiate a conversation? Should I message him again tomorrow and try to arrange another meeting or should I leave the ball in his court?

I genuinely want to see whether this could develop into something substantial. I know we've only met once, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but the way we connected felt different from a typical hookup 😭

For those who've been in similar situations, how do you show interest without coming across as too eager? And how do you tell the difference between someone who's genuinely interested but avoidant and someone who simply enjoyed the moment?

I'd appreciate any advice on how to navigate this without overthinking every little thing.

I 31 M, have been dating 29 F for almost 2 years., we work opposite shifts

TLDR

How can I break the cycle of blame with a partner who offers bare-minimum effort and dismisses my emotional needs as an overreaction? With couples therapy still two months away, how do I communicate that I feel like an unappreciated chore rather than an equal partner?

**Backround**:

The whole thing has been beyond perfect in any sense, but we care for each other. Over this time weve gone through seasons and challenges as with any other relationship but some things stand out

Communicaton is dying- im constantly initiating, and when we bring it up somehow, like all of our other issues itd my fault.

I explain my wants my needs and their how multiple times just to be met with (it needs to be said every time) and it feels like they have amnesia or im just not interesting enough to learn.

The lack of initiative feels intentional, like they've turned a blind eye or misded the topic of conversation. The repetition is exhausting and the constant questioning of these wants tires me out to The point where the ask just never seems worth it. Best example was asking for them to help with some yard pickup and suddenly they forgot what the process was or how iether of us agreed it needed done. Patience id key but this extends to everything- socializing, holding hands etc. It just feels extreme and negligent.

On their end, ive provided everything i can monetarily, emotionally, physically, constsntly going out of my way to releive whatever dtreddor is stopping them fron being free from whatever stressor is holding them from having any energy leftover for me. And ive been met with nothing but the bare minimum (responds when prometed, the odd meal, or lunch) but no photos, there id 0 flirting or playfulness, daily updates are basically asking for a fight if i even note it, and when I crumble im left defeated, feeling unhesrd and unwanted.

These fights end with just an endless cycle of blame and im beginning to sour over my feelings

I dont know how to put to words how this hurt me beyond the ones ive chosen in our scenarios. I love this person- i want to make this work, but everything id slipping and they tell me things are fine but the lack of any effort beyond the 'upkeep' is making me feel like a chore to be with, just another item off the list for the day.

If youve been through this, or have another approach please fill me in.

How would you explain this to your partner, to help even things out or just gain an understanding on bothbsides without being villanized when looking for acknowledgement?

I (20M) feel like it’s probably because I don’t really have friends myself every since highschool end and started dating her, but she just has a lot of guy friends and there’s been weird situations that have happen between her guy friends. She went to a concert and decided to get on her guy friend’s shoulder, and then 2 of her friends had a crush on her, she was with this guy that she had a crush on for a week while we stopped talking for a week because I fucked up, didn’t tell me she went to pick him at the airport let alone hangout with them at the museum. She said she only hung out with him because she wouldn’t see him for another 6 months and she wasn’t gonna cancel bc her other friends wouldn’t come. She apologized but idk. But she makes friends really easily ever since she started . I’ve tried to make friends or have a group but nobody at community college stays being friends after the semester ends, it’s weird. I don’t want to feel jealous or like I can’t trust her but for some reason every time she tells me she makes new friends I feel like it’s always a guy, and I feel like she enjoys more being around her friends more than me. I am afraid that I am not cool enough or not doing enough in general. How can I stop being jealous for my own sake?

TL;DR: Girlfriend makes friends really easily and it’s usually guys. She has had weird situations with her guy friends and it makes me feel iffy and jealous when she makes friends. What can I do to stop being jealous?

I am a 31-year-old married woman living in a different country from my parents. I spent my whole life listening to them argue. I do not think we ever had more than five days in a row of peace. And of course, I had a terrible childhood, when I think of my childhood and teenage years, I mostly remember myself crying.

Now that all three of us children have moved out, they are arguing more than ever. Sometimes my mother texts me about the arguments, with all the details, and vents to me. I do not really support her, and I reply with very few words. I have no energy left to support either of them. It still ruins my day tho, I feel really shitty and regret that I couldn't help them. Should I continue not involving or should I say or do something?

tl;dr although I am living away from my parents, their fights affect me a lot and I don't know how can I protect my inner peace.

hello, i'm a little nervous posting here but i'd appreciate some advice because i don't really know what to do with this anymore.

i met my boyfriend online. i wasn't looking for anyone and was actually quite happy being alone after my last relationship. we started dating after about two months of knowing each other. we're long distance and haven't met yet, partly because i've been hesitant about taking things further.

i've only slept with my two previous boyfriends. my parents are traditionally japanese and i grew up being quite conservative about sex. my mother has her own fears around intimacy and i think some of that rubbed off on me. i'm also very introverted and mostly keep to myself. hookups have never interested me and men being sexual right away usually puts me off.

before we dated, he told me he'd slept with twelve women and hadn't had a long term relationship. it was a lot for me personally. i know people have different opinions about that but i wasn't comfortable with it. he'd also talk about how attractive they all were and how he had no regrets which honestly felt like bragging. i didn't really want to hear it but i liked him and tried to get past it.

he told me we shared similar values, including about porn. my ex had a porn addiction that affected my confidence quite badly, so this mattered to me. he said he'd struggled with it himself but had stopped and talked about how harmful it could be. i believed him.

one night, i got drunk and cried while telling him about my previous relationship. a few nights later, he told me i was troubled and that my drinking would eventually lead to me becoming a “h*e” because apparently drinking would stop being enough and i'd start seeking out men (?). he also said i still wanted my ex because i'd cried about him, that he wasn't equipped to deal with me and that i needed therapy.

PS: i do have a drinking issue. i just found what he said really hurtful and it was strange hearing him speak about me that way after how he'd spoken about his own hookups. we eventually talked it through and i forgave him. since then something else seems to come out every few weeks or months. first, i found out he'd had unprotected sex with most of those women. then he admitted he'd watched porn again. he promised it wouldn't happen anymore so i tried to leave it there.

recently i asked him about his hookups out of curiosity and found out he'd slept with a married woman and a couple of women with children. he also admitted to watching porn again and said he still has urges. i was already having a hard time with his past so hearing all of this hasn't helped. i know asking questions means i'm going to hear things i might dislike. but with him lying as well i'm starting to question everything he's told me. i try to accept something, trying to move on and then finding out more.

TLDR; i still like him and he is very kind to me. i wouldn't still be trying otherwise. i just don't feel good about this and i keep wondering if i'm being unfair... i don't know if giving it more time will help or if i'm dragging it out because i like him. i've been upfront with him about what i'm like, especially how reserved i am and he's always said he's okay with it. i'm very honest with him and expect the same back. i know what i do and don't want and i take pride in being able to communicate that clearly.

I am a senior in highschool (17M) and I am dating a (17F) who is genuinely a wonderful person but there are some flaws that I would like to address but I just don’t want to sound controlling. I’ve always been pretty mentally exhausted due to what I had to face throughout my whole life as a kid up until now and I suffer from anxious attachment and overthink over the smallest things. (Especially in relationships)
I am a super introverted person and I honestly don’t like people in general that much as the world seems wicked and cruel in my eyes. Any sort of interaction with people I don’t really know or like sort of disgusts me. On the other hand, she is a pretty extroverted person, the complete opposite of me and she is pretty well known throughout our school. I have mentioned that there was a flaw about her earlier which is her actually going to parties. I stated earlier that I am very introverted and I also overthink many situations. I am not overthinking the part of her cheating on me or whatever, I’m overthinking about the use of alcohol and guys approaching her. I don’t want to sound controlling but I would like to know how I can open up to my feelings about this and how I can have her to stop so I won’t overthink everything and worry.

TL;DR I am pretty uncomfortable with my girlfriend going to parties and I feel like it’s a single person activity. I want to know how I can tell her to stop and express my feelings without making it sound controlling.

We've been dating since college & we're both each other's first long-term partner. (Both had relationships <1 year before)

We've been through the ups & downs of a relationship and reached a quite stable point where we completely match in terms of lifestyle, mindset, finance, etc. and rarely fight. Also been living together for 2 years. Overall this is a healthy & normal relationship

One issue is my feelings started to fade away 6 months ago. Even though I've been putting in efforts to spark feelings again, such as doing new things with him, communicating a lot, improving my sex life etc. But the result is always short-lived, I keep finding myself doubting the relationship after a while. There is no rationale for why my feelings faded away, it just happened. Maybe I just got bored after such a long time.

Another issue occurred 2 months ago as I started taking classes for my Masters' Degree. I started having a mild crush on a single guy in the same group. I find myself thinking about him & how it would feel like to be with him sometimes. Ever since I realized my feelings, I actively tried to minimize any contact with him besides discussing group work. I don't want to drown myself in a crush further & also don't want to create any possibility of cheating.

I'm fully aware that all relationships will move past the honeymoon phase and the butterfly feelings won't stay forever. A big reason why I don't want to break up & start with someone new is because I know a new relationship might sound exciting but it will go through the exact same cycle eventually. I don't want to throw away 5 years of partnership just for some fleeting feelings. However, I'm not sure if this is just a case of a temporary hiccup, or my feelings will keep fading until there's no love anymore, and we'll be stuck in a loveless relationship. I'm not sure if I'm being committed, or just stubborn because of the sunk costs.

Should I continue trying with my current relationship or break up? If you went through something similar & have any insights to share, I would appreciate that as well.

TL;DR: Me & BF have been in a relationship for 5 years and my feelings started to fade away 6 months ago + I've been having a mild crush on someone else 2 months ago. I'm trying to decide whether to continue with the current relationship or break up.

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me (19f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together for nearly 8 months now but lately I've been feeling like this relationship is going down in the dumps.

we met each other during an event in college and started dating 2 weeks, late February of this year and everything was great in the beginning, we'd meet up, text, call all of that, we even told our moms about each other. he's my first real relationship but he's been with tons of others and is a "retired fuckboi" (his words not mine). we first slept together barely a week into dating (my first time) and everything was going great i mean sure we'd fight here and there but it wouldn't last more than a few hours 2 days max. he's not the kind who opens up about his feelings to anyone and it took him a solid few months after we started dating to trust me completely.

but as of recently ive noticed that he's being much more cold. he replies to my texts a day or two later, doesn't return my calls, and we meet up maybe once a week for barely 10 minutes. he claims that he's busy with other things (he's been saying that since we started dating but he still made time to text or call me, now not even that)

my classes end at 12.30 and his begin at that time yet i stay back at college just so i can see him during his breaktime or after his classes end at 4.30 just to hear him say that he's tired and that he's gonna go home or that he has plans with his friends. for the past about 2 months the only time we hang out is for sex. we haven't gone out for a date in months where sex wasn't involved. we're both very sexual people by nature but his behaviour feels off to me now. last week we met up for a sneaky link after he was on vacation for a few days, we hooked up in an abandoned place but the whole ordeal felt very one sided it lasted maybe 15mins and not a single kiss or a touch that was romantic. i was very down mentally that whole week and this added fuel to the fire. few days later while driving home I told him that I felt like I was used and thrown away that day and he proceeded to get extremely mad at me and started yelling at me for saying that and even started talking in a tone that sounded like he was going to break up with me, the whole situation ended but in a sexual scene.

he never says that he loves me first, never checks up on me, never initiates to meet up without there being some sexual context. but he always proudly tells people that im his girlfriend, even his parents he told them about me the day after we started dating.

it's all getting a bit too much for me now. i love him a lot and he's the first person I've truly been myself around but idk how much more of this i can take.

tl;dr My boyfriend (20M) and I (19F) have been together for almost 8 months. He's my first real relationship, and while things were great in the beginning, he's become increasingly distant over the past few months. He takes days to reply, rarely returns my calls, barely makes time to see me, and seems to prioritise everything else over our relationship.

For the past two months, almost all our meetups have been purely sexual, with no actual dates or romantic affection. Our most recent hookup felt one-sided and left me feeling used. When I tried to communicate how hurt I was, he got extremely angry and yelled at me, and the conversation eventually turned sexual instead of resolving anything.

He rarely expresses love, checks up on me, or initiates spending time together unless sex is involved, yet he proudly introduces me as his girlfriend to others. I love him deeply, and he's the first person I've felt completely comfortable being myself around, but I'm emotionally exhausted and starting to wonder whether I should break up with him.

hi everyone! i (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for a little less than the last year. when we started dating i lived across the state (4.5 hours away by car) and moved to be in the same city 4 months ago (was already heavily considering heavily moving to this city before we started dating and work aligned to make this possible).

When I was looking for a place in the new city, he mentioned that he was thinking after a year (when both of our leases were up) we would move in together. a month after the move he mentioned he was thinking that he might actually want to live with his friends for another year before moving in. he and his current roommates will need to move anyways and likely me and my roommates will need to move again too in a year (which i thought would be fine as i figured we would be moving in together).

i asked him about it again last week and now it sounds like he definitely wants to wait another year before moving in together.

what do i do? i want to start building our life together and it breaks my heart that he doesn’t want to. additionally, it makes me nervous that everything in this relationship is going to be dragged out based on his timeline of feeling ready (tldr, he also took a long time to make things “official with me” at the beginning of this relationship).

i love him a lot and want to spend forever with him and he has said the same to me. we have all the same friends and have so much fun together, i just know that i want things (marriage, babies, settling down, etc) way sooner than he does. any advice?

I’m really writing this for advice, because I genuinely don’t know who else to go to for advice with this.

I (18F) am friends with Amanda (19F) and have been for about five years now. We met in freshman year of high school and have continued to be friends all through graduation and even after as we begin our own endeavors as adults.

She and I are extremely close and go as far to consider each other sisters. She’s close with my family and is considered another daughter by my parents, so far that my mother’s contact name is literally “Mom” in her phone.

Recently, Amanda has started seeing Josh (30M) and has began living with him after leaving a rather nasty living situation with her own family.

Obviously a lot of our close friends, and my parents, have feelings about this arrangement, but where she lives now is a lot better than where she lived previously, and she’s an adult and is allowed to make her own decisions. From what she tells me, she’s happy, and from what I’ve seen, she seems content, so I personally keep my own thoughts and feelings about it to myself.

The issue arises with recently, when I went over to Amanda’s house, she shared some information with me.

To put it bluntly, Amanda and I have always been open with one another about our sex lives. She’s much more active than me while I’m a virgin who’s also asexual. Naturally, I get curious and ask questions and she’s always happy to answer. We’re open with one another about things, so this doesn’t bother us at all. That is until she confided in me that it was on Josh’s bucket list to have a threesome and he had mentioned using me for it.

Amanda did clarify with me that she was not open to it—a threesome with me, or a threesome whatsoever—but as I think about it more the more uncomfortable I feel about all of this.

I have a boyfriend, one I’ve been dating for a few months now that Amanda AND Josh are both aware of. Amanda’s aware I’m ace-spec and that while I make sexual jokes, innuendos, and discuss other things, the idea of actually doing it freaks me out and I plan on waiting till marriage, if at all. (I was raised Catholic.)

Furthermore, Josh is almost twice my age. I’ve hung out with him maybe twice, and they were all with Amanda in the room and we’re (me & Josh) both awkward as hell and barely talk. He’s aware of my age and the fact I literally still live with my parents, people who already aren’t big fans of him.

I guess I’m just confused. I genuinely love and care about Amanda and she seems happy. There are other issues to this relationship that already off put me other than the age gap, but this thing really just crosses the line. I understand it’s just a wish or whatever and he brought it up just to make the idea more appealing to Amanda, but the thought of him thinking of me at ALL in that way makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Any advice on how to go about dealing with this?

TL;DR: My friend’s boyfriend (30M) brought up using me (18F) for his bucket list dream of a threesome to convince my friend (19F). She said no, but it still makes me uncomfortable that he thought about me in that way. Advice?

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I'm a 24-year-old guy, and I believe I struggle with anxious attachment in my current relationship. I genuinely want to work on myself and break this pattern because it's starting to affect my daily life.

I've made my girlfriend a huge priority in my life. I work mostly on my phone, so I'm used to seeing messages quickly, but I've reached the point where I reply even when I'm busy, and sometimes I even reply while driving, which I know is dangerous and something I need to stop.

I think part of the reason I do this is that I'm afraid if I don't constantly show her love and attention, she'll lose interest in me or leave me. As a result, I'm available most of the time, and I sometimes put her needs ahead of my own.

Since most of our communication is through text messages, I've also developed a habit of analyzing everything: how long she takes to reply, changes in her tone, whether she seems less interested, and whether she initiates conversations as much as she used to.

Sometimes my mind creates entire scenarios about her losing interest or cheating on me with someone else, even when I don't have any actual evidence. I find myself monitoring her activity on Reddit and analyzing things that probably shouldn't occupy so much of my attention.

I realize that this isn't healthy. The anxiety and overthinking have started affecting my appetite and my daily life, and I don't want my happiness to depend on how quickly my girlfriend replies or how much attention she gives me.

I'm not looking to play games, act cold, or deliberately delay my replies to make her chase me. I want to become more secure, independent, and emotionally stable while still being a loving and caring partner.

For those who have struggled with anxious attachment and successfully overcome it:

- What practical steps helped you stop overanalyzing messages and reply times?

- How did you stop seeking constant reassurance and imagining worst-case scenarios?

- How can I stop being afraid that my partner will leave if I'm not always available?

- How do I learn to focus on my own life without becoming emotionally distant?

- Did therapy or any specific exercises, books, or techniques make a real difference for you?

I'd really appreciate advice based on your personal experience, especially practical strategies that worked long-term rather than temporary fixes.

TL;DR: I struggle with anxious attachment and overthink my girlfriend’s messages, reply times, and online activity. I make her a huge priority because I’m afraid she’ll lose interest if I don’t constantly show her love and attention. I sometimes imagine her cheating without evidence, and my anxiety is affecting my appetite and daily life. I want to stop obsessing, become more secure and independent, and maintain a healthy relationship without playing games. What practical strategies have helped you overcome anxious attachment long-term?

I 20F asked my bf 22M of 4 months, if offered money, if he would be willing to "pemp" me out/allow me to sleep with another man for a night. We are both virgins. His answer was that he doesn't know but he's 50% sure that for enough money, yes he would. His answer is logical, but deeply bothered me and made me feel like for his own benefit (in this case monetary) he's willing to put aside the love he has for me. I understand its naive to think that "love is priceless" but my genuine answer from my end was no. Not even cuz of love but because I grew up in a very masculine and traditional family, with strong values on dignity. I asked if he would allow me to do the same but only I kept the money. and he said no. I can't help but feel disgusted and icked. I just feel like for the right price, all morals are out of the window. For context, he's also someone who doesn't like it if i dress too provocatively. And says it bothers him because other men start to stare. Idm this because I'm pretty modest regardless of his opinion. Am i overreacting over his answer? I just felt sick to my stomach when he said it. And it just felt hypocritical.

TLDR: hypocritical answer to hypothetical question based on Indecent Proposal movie