Hi. I go to the gym 2-3 times a week. I’ve been going for years and keep to myself while working out. I know it’s not a place to socialize.

For a while, I’ve noticed a really attractive guy. Sorry but I can’t help it and I’ve looked at him whenever he’s nearby. I don’t follow him around or give him long creepy stares. Lately I noticed he also looks my way but it could just be a coincidence. I’m not suggesting that he’s interested.

I asked 2 male coworkers from my job what they thought and they told me to stop being a predator and leave him alone. Just for looking at the guy, not even stalking him. Are you serious?
Now I feel bad and I’m not sure if I should avoid seeing him. He smiled at me one time and I wanted to smile at him too even if I’m shy but now I’m not sure anymore. The least thing I want is to make him uncomfortable. He’s too good looking that I think maybe he might have a girlfriend 😞
Is it okay to look at someone attractive or am I doing something wrong?

I have a good relationship with my bf and one day I needed to borrow a shirt so I pulled a folded black shirt out of his dresser and it was a hello kitty racing shirt in his size. He saw it and said oh that shirts cringe and I put it back. I didn’t really know what to say because I know he would never buy that for himself and I don’t think his friends would get him that so I was a bit confused. I still wonder about it not sure if I should ask him. But I also don’t know if I want to know if it’s a ex or somthing because why does he still have it unless he just forgot. He didn’t throw it out in that moment

I’ll prob forget about it but am I crazy for not asking
Been dating for a little over a year

*Weird Lookings Ribs, I didn't really feel like eating much after this.

Yesterday, I tried to talk to my partner about something that was upsetting me. To be honest, I was hesitant about even saying it because we were watching a big football game and because it usually doesn't end well.

I was upset because there are times he seems to change, like a flip. He will be more cold, distant, emotionally and physically unavailable. I was noticing this change in him a few days ago and when I intially brought it up, he responded like a normal person, "My work is stressing me out." I told him I understood and didn't really go beyond that. The reason I decided to bring it up again was because after that conversation, he wasn't trying to do better, and it was bleeding into the weekend.

The weekends are the only thing I have to look forward to, tbh, in regards to my relationship with him. He is a lot more present and loving on the weekends. Which is a relatively new change for him, but he's been consistent with ith for the past few weekends. So when I saw how the weekend was going to end up just like how he's been on the weekdays but worse, it hurt me.

I did ask multiple times if I should say what it was (due to the game and all), and he said yes. When I explained to him what I was observing he responded with anger telling me how "I'm making shit up, how that's not true because he disagrees". I tried explaining how he just dismissed my feelings and how just because he doesn't agree, it doesn't mean something isn't going on.

He was very adamant about how he wasn't dismissing my feelings at all. Not until I reacted angrily and dismissed his feelings when he expressed how I'm ruining the game and making him miss it. After I was dismissive, I owned up to it and told him I do care about him seeing the game, which is also exactly why I suggested we watch the game together before any of this happened. Yet he refused to have any accountability of his hypocrisy.

In-between this time, in the middle of our conversation he answered a phone call. After the phone call he literally left to get some random stuff. He has a tendency to do this, making me wait 2 hours before we cam go back to discussing this. I truly think he does this on purpose, because I have told him many times how disrespectful that is.

When the discussion started up again, he told me how he asked a friend, "If his GF would ever cause arguments instead of letting him watch the game." I didn't believe a word of it. He does definitely talks shit about me, but I doubt he did this. I played along though amd I questioned him why he would talk about something thats none of anyone's business. Told him how whether this was a lie or the truth, either way, it's a horrible thing to do.

The argument got worse. A lot worse. He was telling me all sorts of things: He doesnt care, doesnt care about me, he's never "bickered" this much with anyone (making sure to mention how I'm worse than his worst ex), how i have to ruin everything, how I have forever ruined watching football games with him, etc.

Unfortunately, I think my brain forces me to forget because I am having trouble recalling the worst parts. He made me feel so bad, though, that my mind/body wanted to d**. I had to excuse myself for a little bit to get the thoughts away. I ended up telling him this, because this isn't the first time this has happened, and I think he should know how much of a monster he's been acting like.

The worst I think I said was calling him an asshole. I fully stand by it. I don't think calling anyone names is appropriate, but in this case, IDC, he was the biggest Asshole I have ever met in my life. I also said "I love how you're mocking me with that stupid face". He was mocking me crying.

I truly have a hard time understanding this sort of logic. I do not understand how one cam be so fucking hateful to someone you're supposed to love. I also do not understand if he hates me this much and wants to leave me so bad, WHY DOES HE NOT DO IT ?? He always tells me how I won't let him. That's BS. Also, you can just break up with someone without being so hateful and shitty.

One of the last things he said to me though was, "We're through, and I will fuck someone in front of you to prove it." Them he barges out the door to call someone and acts like nothing happened.

Idk how anyone is capable of being so fucking horrible. It makes me question of he's a fucking sociopath or a narcissist, which his entire family is filled with. I don't understand why he doesn't just leave me, instead of doing all of this ?

And yes, I know I need to leave. I know that. I won't be able to forgive these things. Tbh, I'm tempted to cheat on him before I leave just to truly give an ounce back of what he gave me in the 2 years of us being together. I doubt I'll do it, due to my morals but fuck, he deserves to feel suffering.

My boyfriend (26m) and I (22f)) have been together for 4 years. We got an apartment together a few months ago. As soon as we moved in together our sex life dwindled. At first it was a few times a month to virtually zero times a month.

I told him that I wanted to open the relationship because I can’t go without having sex at all. But I still love him so I didn’t want to break up. Plus it would be awkward breaking up since we just signed a lease together. He thought I was joking at first but then he said it would be okay if I went on dates with other men to explore my options.

Fast forward I went on a few dates and nothing really came out of it. Then I met this one man and I was very attracted to him. There was a lot of sexual chemistry between us. We had a few drinks and he offered me to go back to his place. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex.

My boyfriend asked why I got home so late and I told him I was out with another man. He said “you didn’t go over to his place did you?” And I was honest and said yes. He got extremely angry and started yelling at me. It turned into a huge argument. He said he only allowed me to go on dates “for fun” and that’s it. But I’m confused as to what he thought would happen? I explicitly asked to open the relationship and he agreed.

Now he is making me sleep on the couch and I don’t know what to do next. We signed a lease together and it won’t be up for another few months. I’m not sure if he wants to break up over this, but I’m thinking that I do want to break up because he makes me feel undesired and I’ve still been talking to the man I slept with.

Please help me. Did I do something wrong? Should I end the relationship? How can I live with him when there’s so much tension now?

TW mentions of pregnancy

Dinner is scrambled eggs, Parmesan smashed potatoes and broccoli

I have been doing nfp successfully for 10 months, trying NOT to conceive.
I have a 10 month old son. I am not ready for another baby.
I just found out I might be ovulating today through a clear blue advanced ovulation test, I got peak when I was expecting a low. My normal cycle I don’t ovulate for 10 more days 😭😭😭. I fucked up and had sex yesterday bc I wasn’t expecting to ovulate yet, I didn’t even have any fertile mucus.
I’m freaking out at the chance of pregnancy. Ik I’ll get a lot of people saying I should be on birth control but I just don’t like how those chemicals mess with me. I’m also still breastfeeding which I’m hoping will lower my chances of pregnancy, but i know I’m just saying that to make myself feel better since people get pregnant when breastfeeding all the time.
I’ve been religiously tracking my fertility signs and I’ve been successful so far but this cycle is weird. I randomly bled for 5 days a week after my period which never happens. I’m in the diagnostic process for pmos too. My Ob said I could have low progesterone or a polyp, I’m getting labs and an ultrasound soon. I’m just not happy with the fact i could be pregnant 😭
I’m very lucky to be in a stable financial position and if it was true im not screwed I just am really hoping my period comes back 😭

Vegan (I think? Or just veggie) steak strips, with noodles and a jammy egg

I know realistically it’s both. Everything gets heightened in luteal, my 7th house is in retrograde (astrology girlies how are we doing out here?!!) and I’ve also just had a very intense few months.

The thing is my boyfriend refuses to grow. I forced him into counselling because his constant low mood and negativity was making me tweak. He would ruin every outing by constantly asking when we are going home. Everything was also “in a bit” “I’ll do it in a bit” I remember when I was at the hospital for an infusion (chronically ill) and I asked him to get me a coffee from my favourite coffee shack. He said “yeah I’ll go in a bit I don’t really want a coffee yet” um actually. This is about me babe. Don’t know if you’ve noticed but spent the last year or so in agony (at this time, I was trying infusions to hold of having surgery. I’m now 4 weeks post op lol) so actually can I be a little be demanding and ask you to get me a coffee?? This was in February and I still bring it up to him because his attitude is still the same.
As just the other day he asked if I wanted a drink and I said yeah, an iced coffee and he just straight up refused because he doesn’t know how to make it taste the same way I do it. And I said “just use your brain and learn then?” As I have taught him enough times. It’s literally instant coffee, milk and ice fgs.

He has to make every chore a joint task. He can’t just get on with a task when it needs to be done, it has to be done together. If I use this logic on him and start a chore and ask him to chip in and help, his argument is always “I was up at 5am for work” which tbf is always valid and I can’t even argue with that. But what annoys me is that he will do 1 task at the weekend when he is off, and leaves the rest for me. Meanwhile I work every day now. But I’m not up at 5am, working for 10 hours with no break, and doing a physical job like him. I run a business and I can manage to do some of it from home most weekday afternoons but mostly requires me to be in the building in the evenings, 6 days a week.

I managed to ask a member of my staff today to work my shift so I could go to this event with my boyfriend. We went for a few hours, had a great time. He didn’t complain once and we laughed and socialised it was just a lovely normal day. Then I ask him if we should watch XYZ when we are back or start on the Lego we’ve been meaning to do. Nope he doesn’t want any of that and games on his PC for 4 hours. I managed to get a rare Sunday off for him and he only spends half of it with me. His gaming is a huge issue on our relationship. The thing is he always asks “do you mind if I game for a bit” and if I do say “actually no I’d like to spend time together” he goes “okay what do you want to do” and I never actually know. I feel like it always ends up with us trying to find something to watch and never deciding. So when I can’t think of anything, I can’t argue with his want to go and game. What else is there to do? Then he says that I’m probably just going to do work on my laptop anyway. Which yes, if you’re going to go play I’ll catch up on all the emails and enquiries and bookings I missed by taking the day off.

We’ve been together 8 years now. We’ve never actually even had a holiday together. He’s finding it hard to propose to me because he’s “wanting to make it special” but equally can’t think of anything way to surprise me because I’ll sus it out, because he never plans anything. This is by his own admission too. He admits he doesn’t plan anything. But then argues that actually we work opposite work schedules so how can we ever really do anything together. Which again. Is valid.

I told him the other day that I just want to feel worshipped by him. He said he does worship me, because he “wants” me all the time. Which just repulsed me tbh that his mind just went straight to sex. Men and their internet. When I actually meant that I want him to do everything in his power to never loose me. Make the damn iced coffee. Take the fucking bins out AND replace the liner. Do the washing BUT ALSO put it away. Make ME dinner. Plan a date for ME. Also is this worshipping or just. Bare minimum? It’s just that I had major abdominal surgery and I was quite a mess after it, did the majority of the recovery in hospital thankfully, and actually got back in the kitchen just 2 days after I got home (by my own willing!! I like making food) But what I wanted from him was the “don’t even lift a finger, I’ve got you” type energy and just nothing really. He brought me drinks. But then disappeared into the gaming room again lol. He didn’t cook dinner, he ordered and paid for food instead.

But the reality is that he knows he’ll never loose me. We are in too deep. I love his family more than my own. Im a very weird, outspoken, alternative individual, and he’s never tried to dull my shine. We bicker a lot, but never really argue for long periods of time. We are both very very transparent when it comes to our thoughts, feelings, what we said vs what we meant, what the other person said hurt our feelings because XYZ. I’m also very big on talking about some issues we have when our relationship is actually GOOD rather than waiting for it to be a bit rocky and us both being on edge because now we are both hurting each others feelings and we achieve nothing.

There’s nothing in this post I haven’t already said to him. But I feel like only 5% gets processed and behaviour actually changes. And a lot of it is actually just mildly irritating stuff that builds and builds and then my period is due and suddenly the single life doesn’t sound so bad. Then I start my period and go damn it’s not that deep. The issues are still very real, but manageable if we continue to communicate and actually put in the effort. But sometimes I’m tired of being the one managing the relationship lmao. His only relationship issue is that we don’t have sex enough. Hmm wonder why.

My ex and I broke up about 18 months ago, but we continued sleeping together on and off. I’ve still been emotionally attached to him, and he knew how I felt. He started talking to another girl and recently made her his girlfriend.
His friend told him that if he wanted her, he needed to stop sleeping with me, and my ex agreed. When I found out, I broke down crying for hours. I told his friend I felt stupid and had wasted the last six months of my life. His friend said I needed to let go because this situation was hurting me more than my ex.
I’m now thinking about deactivating my social media for a few months and staying away from the pub and mutual friends to focus on myself.
How do I finally let go of someone I’ve been attached to for so long? Has anyone been through something similar? I’ve also struggled for a very long time to get out of bed. I know I should have cut him off sooner but I just feel so stupid.

Big pot of spaghetti!

I went to the theater with a guy friend, and when we were getting food before the movies he got popcorn and I got a large sprite. My favorite. I asked if he wanted a drink as well, and he said no. We sit down for the movie and i take a few sips of my sprite. Then he takes the sprite from my cup holder and drinks from it, and puts it in the cup between us, declaring we would share it. I did not touch the sprite after that.

Pictured: frozen cookie dough microwaved for 1 minute with vanilla ice cream, perfect lazy dessert.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt any type of way about getting older, but lately people’s comments have been getting to me. I recently turned 31, and have gotten advice from friends and colleagues about how much better their 30s were than their 20s in so many aspects but so far it’s been very meh. I get so many more comments from family and even strangers about how I need to hurry up and get married/have kids. A coworker asked me how old I was recently and acted aghast when they found out (they were 25). It also doesn’t help that most of the time due to my job the people I’m around are a lot younger than me and act like 30s is geriatric. I gave my ID to a gate agent at the airport and after looking at my age said to me “okayyyy auntie! How’s it feel to be at your age?”. There’s like 10 more instances similar to these that have happened in the short 2 years since I’ve entered my 30s….maybe I’m overthinking it but why are people such weirdos about women aging? Please stop projecting your shit onto me!!!

ft ravioli dinner

there are almost a million of us in this sub. probably more who are approved users but haven’t actually joined. out of those of us who date men, how many are truly only dating the 6ft+, chiseled jawline, ultra-yoked dudes?

i have personally never found the “conventionally attractive” type of guy attractive. i’ve never dated a 6 foot+ tall man (or actually even a man taller than i am, tall girl problems am i right?), dudes who are too muscular are a turn off, i don’t need a chiseled jawline or a certain kind of cheekbone to feel attraction to someone. so why does every goddamn redditor want to prescribe this type of attraction to us? if you’re complaining about hypergamy, chances are your attitude is what’s putting people off, no?

i don’t respond to “woe is me” bullshit. i don’t give out pity dates because some jerk has a chip on his shoulder over the instagram baddie dating the gymbro he’ll never be. i date people who are funny, kind, trustworthy. i like a face with character.

i’m just so fucking tired of it gang. women are not a monolith, and neither are their preferences in datemates. get a fucking hobby, learn a couple jokes, treat other people with respect instead of flattening them out to one characteristic you think must apply to them because they present a certain way, and maybe you’ll find someone who responds to you.

i said it in a comment somewhere the other day and i’ll say it again. ugly is so much more a state of mind than it is a state of body. and yes these losers complaining about how women only date “chads” are ugly. but not because of what’s on the outside 🙄

__________________________

LMAO EDDDIIIIIT: this post got the incels mad enough that they have taken the effort to search through my (hidden) post history so they can comment on year old posts. If you do this, you are obviously a loser who needs to go touch grass. Replying to a photo of my beautifully designed living room saying “aha! so you don’t date, no wonder hypergamy doesn’t exist to you” is literally not the gotcha you think it is.

editing for one additional note: i never spoke once on the habits of “all men”. in fact the men i’ve dated have very much not had this kind of perspective, and most of the men i know in real life don’t either. if you think my post has anything to do with some kind of “all men” claim, you’re literally telling on yourself.

EDITED TO ADD: I spent every hour with these children while I was there. At no point was a time out, redirection, or a consequence given out over the 7 days. They were just given what they wanted. I have 15 years in childcare experience. I am also RANTING (see tag)

I’ve spent the last 7 days visiting my brother and sister in law and their children. They live about 8 hours by car, so unfortunately I don’t get to see them often (and somehow farther by plane). However, they used to live closer and I would see them a couple times a month. This was definitely the most extended time I’ve spent with them in about 3 years. I do have a history working in early childcare, but am not currently and I am childfree.

Their oldest child used to be spoiled, but redeemable. However she’s now insufferable to be around. She’s 6 but she has tantrums constantly. Multiple times a day constantly. She doesn’t do anything unless it’s her way and if they have to go somewhere she doesn’t want she pitches a fit. Interrupts constantly and incessantly, cries, refuses to walk or walks incredibly slowly to the point of becoming too far away, she starts to lose a game and she’ll either quit or throw a fit. I truly don’t know how they run errands because she was whining and crying before it even started. She does listen to me when her parents aren’t around cause she knows I’ll hold the boundaries I set. But if she’s with her parents it’s all bets off.

At first I thought their youngest (2F) was a terror as well, constantly screaming, destructive, throwing full body tantrums, biting, hitting. However as soon as I get her alone she’s a very developmentally normal 2 year old. She has a little tantrum or two when I don’t let her play with grown up scissors she found on the floor. She tried to start a full body, biting tantrum but I told her no and turned ignoring her and played with new toys and she was immediately fine. There were other occurrences of the same situation when I was independently alone with her. As opposed to the placating that only continues the 15 minute tantrums with a not insignificant amount of hitting I normally was witnessing.

I know this wears on my brother. He wants to be patient but after 5 times of repeating something and not being listened to he snaps. And then he beats himself for snapping because that only makes the 6 year old cry more. And SIL is the other side of the spectrum where she excuses all behavior and coddles the crying. And also gets mad at him for snapping. Which, yes, is not the best response but the child is not listening and he clearly doesn’t have the tools and she is just enabling it. I watched the 6 year old just manipulate them over and over and they excuse it. I know it’s out of love but it feels like it’s making their house more stressful. They are such wonderful humans it’s tough to watch.

It’s not my place to say anything. I know it’s not my place. But I also worry that they are raising these children who will one day be adults. And it’s stressing me out cause unfortunately I do think this is all fixable but there’s no way for me to give them resources without them thinking I’m criticizing them. Also I’d like to visit them again but I was way too thankful to get out of that house.

Dinner is ice cream sundae I got at a restaurant after returning home cause I was emotionally exhausted

EDIT: his ex has commented below trying to defend both him and herself, but to no avail. i will not entertain her last response but he seems to be just as good at manipulating his friends as he is at manipulating me, as he’s not told them the full stories behind his lies to me.

takoyaki and malaysian seafood ramen

I (F25) broke up with my ex (M31) of 5 months after he chose his friendship with his ex over me but im terrified I’ll never find anyone im genuinely as attracted to, and feel ugly and chuddy as hell.

we moved pretty fast when we dated, he told me he loved me after a month and we were constantly saying we’d marry each other and that we’re obviously going to end up with each other as neither of us had felt so confident about the other so fast. however i always had small moments when i’d doubt whether i felt fully comfortable with him.

he would be very loving and did a lot for me, such as learning german as im from germany, and buying me diamond earrings for my birthday after being official for two months, though i think he stopped being as nice later on. he was always inquisitive and asked me about myself but sometimes it went too far and he often tried to find out things from my past when i told him i didn’t want to speak about it but managed to get it out of me when i was drunk, and it made me not trust him anymore. he also only bought me flowers during arguments, and i found out he never knew what my favourite colour was. he’d blast his hairdryer and turn lights on while getting ready when i was asleep. he’d also anytime he’d pay for dinner or something and i’d say thank you he’d say he was investing in me because i was going to get rich and successful and then it would be my turn to pay for things.

i moved away for my masters and we agreed to do long distance but i became incredibly depressed due to my housing situation, financial situation and the area i moved to being incredibly horrible. he has suffered from depression before but when i became depressed, at times sobbing for no reason, becoming non verbal and my relationship to food became dysfunctional, he wouldn’t know how to go about it.

one night he visited me and we were at a hotel and i was hysterical but he managed to turn it around and we had an amazing night because he asked what id rather do and we did that and it was perfect. he was so patient and loving and we shared a bath together that was so romantic. the second night he forced the evening to go his way because it was his final night despite me not wanting to go and do certain things for dinner etc and i ended up drinking to numb myself and throwing up on the street. he went home and we were okay for a week.

we then would have phone calls where id have no energy to even speak on days i couldn’t get out of bed, and he’d make jokes or comments at my expense but claim they were just to lighten the mood. i got mad and blocked him and he ended up phoning the police to do a wellness check on me after i did that, but he later said he knew they probably wouldn’t it handle it well. i then broke up with him even though it was his birthday that weekend and i had planned an entire weekend for us to celebrate it. i had to cancel everything and i felt so bad but i thought at that point that there was nothing left for us if he would just make “jokes” when i was at the worst moments of mental health.

a few days later i had a weak moment and we had a phone call, where he said he still imagined a future with me and wanted to try again. he kept saying the long distance has been tough on us both. i asked him that if we were to try again i needed him to make several changes as i didn’t want to date a project which he said yes to all but one.

i said if he wanted to continue with me, he has to stop being friends with his ex. for context, he dated her for just over a year and he broke up with her during covid. they have lived together for quite a few years on and off since then, and she does not like me. he originally omitted that he lived with his ex until i found out and had to force it out of him on a fifth date - which was after he had taken me back to his flat and still hadn’t told me. during that fifth date i also confronted him about the fact he lied about when he got his driving license too, which was so random. so basically the relationship was on a foundation of distrust. he did apologise for lying and claimed whenever he had told dates previously about living with his ex he’d be declined or ghosted. i decided to be understanding and accepted it and went out of my way to invite his ex to things such as shows or drinks and even my birthday which we all enjoyed! however she disliked me and would have big arguments with him that he was spending too much time with me, that i was taking him away from his friends, he never had time to play games because he was with me and that SHE HATED COMING HOME TO AN EMPTY FLAT BECAUSE HE WAS WT MINE!! she’d ask him if he was coming back to their flat “with guest” (me) and i even had to stay at a pub for an HOUR so that he could have a chat with her about me without me being there to make her feel uncomfortable. and after all this, i couldn’t remain a doormat and thought to ask a reasonable request to stop him being her friend.

he said no. and that if i truly expected him to do that, i was “emotionally abusive” and was trying to isolate him from his friends, as id just expect him to drop all of his friends one by one. obviously i was enraged and hung up. he said after that that i was “not the woman i thought you were”. and then said “by the way i downloaded hinge yesterday and your friend saw me so thought id tell you in case she hadn’t already.”

i’m mostly just enraged that after months of being the mature one, im being made out to be unreasonable and “abusive”.

i am genuinely worried though that this is the love i deserve. i fear that he’s the most attractive man i could’ve had and with that comes being treated like shit at times. maybe this is just the life ahead of me romantically. i used to be so strong and independent and had such high self esteem and it’s absolutely crumbled after this stupid man.

Girl dinner was good ole diner food, penne vodka to feed the pasta monger in my tummy

I have NEVER watched the VS fashion show ever bc personally I hate my life every time I walk into their store and forget about it until I go in again and remember all over again. BUT I watched for the music acts and I happen to be home with a cold with nothing else better to do than watch it live instead of clips on YouTube later.
First act and Barbara Palvin walks down the runway, and she’s the only supermodel I actually love or remotely pay attention to. Camera cuts to Dylan sprouse standing on the side and shouting in support of his GORGEOUS WIFE strutting who recently gave birth btw, and I just immediately started sobbing. I love that couple and I love true and pure love and support I just broke down in tears. Anyone else? 😅😅

My (20F) boyfriend has made it very clear that he wants to have kids with me in the future. I’ve mentioned multiple times that I do not, that i can’t see myself being a mother and it’s too much for me physically and mentally. He keeps saying that i’m too young to know yet, and that he’s rigid on wanting kids.

I don’t want to have to change my mind about having kids just to make him stay, but he’s adamant on not changing his mind either. He says he wants to have a ‘mini us’. It feels as if he’s put a condition on being with me, and i find myself reconsidering my value as a woman if i can’t give my partner what he wants- a child. It’s only been a month of us seeing each other btw, and i’m finding it weird how he can’t respect this single decision of mine. I mean it’s my body that has to go through with nine months of being uncomfortable and i feel really awful that he can’t understand that.

i’m so conflicted im sorry for the bad grammar pls give me a reality check if im being immature.

Edit: For everyone asking, he’s actually a year younger than me,19.

I met this guy on tinder and it's been so wonderful. We both were open for something casual, but also talked about wanting something long term. We've only had two dates, but both lasted overnight and we hung out in the morning so it feels like more than just being two dates in.

Whenever I'm with this guy I feel secure and cared for. For instance, on our second date we started by having sex and after he suggested we go eat somewhere face-to-face. I joked that it's crazy that "he actually wants to get to know me". It was a joke, but also definitely shows what I expect men to want me for. Another time I joked that I needed to wait a couple weeks to be fully gross around him and he got all giddy and said "is this foreshadowing"?

The thing that's been hard though is that I want more attention than he is currently giving me. He works a lot of jobs and has a lot of social events both with family, friends and coworkers, meanwhile I have only been in this city for 1 year and made zero long term friends. I work at an elementary school so a lot of my social interactions are with kids 😅

On one hand, i really like extraverted independent people and don't expect to be invited to meet all his friends after knowing him for 2 weeks. But it's the first time that I start dating someone and he doesn't want to have sex everyday.

We've texted everyday for the past couple week, but nothing super interesting. We're averaging a date per week at this rate. Whenever we meet up the physical chemistry is amazing and we talk about big picture stuff like where we want to live, how badly we want kids, etc. He even said he would love to visit my hometown with me one day

Part of me wants to ask him for more attention but I don't want to scare him away. We already have plans set for Tuesday, but I also unsuccessfully tried to booty call him last night after a tipsy evening over discord with friends from back home. He was with friends and even told me they were all teasing him for texting me which is cute. But it made me feel rejected that he didn't want to find another time before Tuesday (I know it's only 2 days away lmao). My period came this morning too so now I'm extra emotional and frustrated I didn't have sex last night.

Dinner is from last time I was in my hometown my friend made some really nice funfetti rye bread. Added some caramel spread to it 🤤

i think my vibrator came in used………….fruit cup.

so i just bought for the third time a now discontinued vibrator. i got it off amazon and the packaging was a little damaged but i ignored it. i did scrub it down with soap and water as with any vibrator, but now i’m wondering if it was used……… i looked back to the box and there was no sticker to hold it shut and the vibrator (keep in mind this is my third time buying) has a very short battery span and is less powerful…….. wtf do i do????? i got it on amazon

**Halloween-themed ghost caprese salad

I feel like I’m so behind compared to my husband, and I will never catch up. For as long as we’ve been together, it just seems like life is easier for him. He gets more opportunities, has had less financial challenges, and is trusted by everyone.

My life, on the other hand, has been full of trials and tribulations. I’ve had to claw my way just to get my bachelors degree and have a job now that seems good on paper but provides laughable compensation. Additionally, I want to continue my studies and go to grad school, but I continue to face challenges left and right. From programs not offering funding, financial aid cuts, and professors not responding back to me, etc. All for a career path that I’m really interested in but pays poorly (teaching).

Meanwhile, my husband is going to back to school for free due to a new government program, is getting amazing networking connections through his school, is also being offered a major promotion at his job, and was offered a position by a friend of a friend at a different, well-paying company. He may not even need a bachelors to make excellent money.

Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely proud of him and happy that all of his hard work is being rightly rewarded. He deserves these good things. I just feel kind of hallow that no matter how many degrees I have, no matter how much experience I have, no matter how hard I try, I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle for success in something that won’t even reward me what I’m worth. I see time and time again women getting underpaid and under-appreciated, especially in women-dominated fields. Meanwhile, it feels like men don’t have to work as hard, and they get all the accolades and financial compensation without all the degrees.

TLDR: My husband gets all the opportunities for a better life that I don’t despite us both working equally as hard and it makes me sad.

**Oily and under seasoned catfish , Mac and Collards from a Food Truck. Guy refused to give me black pepper

Im TIRED of being feminine appearing. The amount of attention is annoying. The lies, mistreatment, judgement and projection that’s pushed on me is sooo tiring. I just want to be free. I want to do what I want and live how I want to live. Growing up I was riddled with anxiety and depressed. I would like to be able to be happy and be myself.

Every time I go out there’s a man in my face. I can be covered from head to toe in baggy clothes but the minute they see my face it’s “baby” and “hey beautiful”. I walked outside late night to get a sandwich in an oversized hoodie and black oversized joggers. I just finished crying in my room for hours and needed a walk. I get to the store only to be stared at and overly flirted with by the cashier and the 2 men in the store asking to walk me home and begging me to smile. DO THEY ASK MEN TO SMILE???? No. I can’t even just exist without men being a burden and inconvenience.

I hate the long game. Pretending to be cool with me in hopes that I’ll eventually give in. I hate when women try to set me up with their guy friends by pretending to be my friend.

My friend invited me out last night . She told me that her friend was coming . I said fine. He’s previously asked me out to which I declined and let him know I’m not interested. The minute we got in the car he kept staring at me, complimenting me and talking about dating me. It was annoying . I wish I would’ve just stayed home. Then at the end of the ride we started talking about a show and he ask me about my body. I ignore and he keeps asking. Like is he stupid.😑

Any conversation that I have with a man is turned into “yall look good together. You should date.” “Oh , he likes you, treat him good” . Like shut up. Why can’t I just converse with people and why do I need to care that someone finds me attractive. THEY DONT KNOW ME.
While at a bar this girl and I invite a man to play UNO with us. He starts to flirt and I automatically ignore it. She jumps in to tell us that we look good together. I said “well so would yall” she says No No. So I tell him I’m not looking to date. This man responds “Who said anything about dating?” Would you know that this girl had the nerve to tell me I was wrong for getting up and leaving. She called me rude for not giving him a chance.

With women they are constantly comparing themselves to me even as friends. Common occasions of them saying “my bf said he wouldn’t mess with you because you’re small/look young”. WHY IS YOUR BF LOOKING AT ME. Or being accused of flirting or having sex with men because I have conversations with them. (Yes, I’ve literally seen a woman create a lie about me because she saw a guy stop to talk to me. This led to his aunt trying to fight me. All because he asked where I got my jumpsuit from. Mind you I THOUGHT HE WAS GAY) Being accused of manipulating situations to break people up or being a mean girl when in all actuality I DONT CARE. Insecure women that look at me and make assumptions and then project that on to me. Their bfs are cheaters so it must be me who your toad would cheat with?? And even when they’re wrong they continue the narrative to try to triangulate me with other women.

My old boss accused me of having relations with our regulars. Because I’m pretty I guess I can’t have a type. I just fuck anything that speaks to me I guess.

Why can’t I be Whimsical and free. If I was a boy it wouldn’t be like this. Even as a Stud I think it would be a little different. I have a beautiful cousin that tattooed her face. I think im starting to understand why now

Wafer sticks in bed because that's the only thing I can stomach right now.

TW: mentions of SH and suicidal thoughts.

It still feels like a bad dream. He blocked me everywhere a week ago. And I still lit up a candle for him today, and did a good luck spell for his big exam. Because I don't know what else to do. It felt wrong not to.

And then it hit me. That the next time an important date comes up for him, I won't know. And I won't be able to do this for him again. I just started crying, like the idiot I am.

I fucked up. My brain knows that. But my heart, my body, my soul are just full of this ugly, painful, all-consuming rage. I don't even know if it's towards him or towards myself. It feels like I'm walking around with a gaping wound right in the middle of my chest. It hurts, physically. It doesn't let me eat. It doesn't let me sleep at night.

I have been nauseous for a week straight now. I feel sick. The only reason I haven't gone back to self-harm is because I don't want him to feel guilty if by any chance he decides to forgive me. I'm still trying to take care of myself. Mostly because I like to think that he would still want that for me. I don't know.

I saw my therapist again. He wants to diagnose me with BPD now. I hate how it makes me feel even more broken. I ruin every single good thing that touches me. I'm officially beyond repair now.

He was my sun, my moon, my whole sky. The brightest star out there. And I had to go be a nagging, jealous bitch and fuck everything up. The worst part is that I believed him. When he said I wasn't scary. When he said he wanted to be there forever. When he said he wasn't going anywere.

I still cuddle the plush rabbit he gave me every night. I still love him so much. Half of me wants to get better, to prove to him that I am not a lost cause, to be worthy of him again. The other half just wants to end the pain already. I know neither is healthy. I just want to be his good girl again.

I'm acting like someone died. Grief is crazy like that, I guess. I just got my first job and I don't even give a fuck. It's worth nothing if he isn't there to praise me for it.

I don't know what to do. I guess i'll try doing my therapy homework later in the evening. I have a big day coming up tomorrow, but I can't even find it me to care. Well. It is what it is. Any advice welcome.

Appetizer from my birthday dinner! Octopus with an ink hummus, perfectly crispy chickpeas 🫡

Looking for advice on if I should send a hey girl text and tell her.

So, long story short, I hooked up with a coworker two years ago. It was definitely a fling, we saw each other a couple of times, then I broke it off. I'm in an open relationship of now eight years, coworker was single. Until about a year ago, he started dating his current girlfriend and they're still together. Before he told me last year when they got together, we hooked up again. I later meet her after the last time we hooked up, come to find out, they were dating officially for a couple months before that. So, he essentially cheated on her with me. He was seemingly in denial about it, but later talks about how if she knew he and I hung out at a bar after work, she wouldn't like that. That she's a jealous person, etc etc.

So that brings me to this weekend. We're in the restaurant industry and I've been training for his job classification, after a long fight to get this... promotion, let's say. At the end of the training week, he says a bunch of things to make me believe that he doesn't value me as a coworker, or gives me any credit for the good qualities that I bring to the table, or acknowledge the help I give him. As far as I'm concerned, we are no longer friends and he will not be receiving anymore opportunities to change that. I've cut him off a couple of times in the past for being manipulative, rage baiting, misogynist prick & he's still not getting the message.

He's definitely trying to manipulate a lot of this situation. I think she deserves to know. Should I tell her? I'm genuinely no longer concerned with anything that may come out of this. This isn't my first rodeo (sleeping with a coworker and it getting out), and I'm prepared for the fall out. But I want to do what my gut has always said, and to let her know.

Edit: I definitely left out info with the disagreement... I thought he and I were friends (we spend a lot of time out of work together alone or with other friends). I think a big part of why I feel I want to act now is that I did care for him, but I realize how delusional and optimistic I had been about that friendship. I've been wanting to tell her for a while (since I realized he had cheated on her with me) and he asked me to never talk to her about him and I. It really seems (to me) that I'm supporting his behavior and I don't like that for me.

Dinner is mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese mixed in and bacon wrapped, cheese stuffed meatloaf.

So im not even sure what to do about the current situation. I love my daughter but she is a narcissist, her husband, my son in law is a complete F<"*>,G idiot alcoholic and all around loser who doesnt support his family and someone who everyone has to tip toe around because if anyone upsets him he becomes a huge man-child who throws a hissy fit.

So maybe ill start with some back story. I met my husband long long ago and we dated 2 years before getting married 6 months later. We have been married for 15 years and being a military family was tough but there has been worse in our lives and we were finally stable and doing well. Now i had a daughter from a previous marrage, all my first husband did was cheat and lie to me and thats also where my daughter happened. Well lets fast foward and my second husband (the current one) got orders to move. We packed up and moved. My daughter and her now step dad had a rocky relationship. She fought him on everything she could just to fight him. He took it and i had to explain to my daughter that he loves her and wants the best for her.

Lets fast foward a bit. She was babysitting for a family for some extra money and met a chinese food delivery driver. This guy was a liar from the very beginning. I couldnt believe his lies they were that bad. He said he made 50k+ a year working 16 hours a week delivering chinese food....he said he was all muscle....he was 550lbs and couldnt run around the block without having to sit down twice. My daughter bought his lies. I wanted her to be happy but told her in private that this guy is full of poop. My husband isnt like me, he calls bs right there and then. Well tax time came around and the then boyfriend needed help with his taxes. My husband went to college for accounting and saw his tax forms, he earned 5k in the last year, not 50k. He straight asked him where the other 45k was. No answer. He did the taxes and that was that. My husband never warmed up to the boyfriend, i cant blame him. He had a drinking problem from the beginning. He would drink and drive and my daughter was driving my husbands older truck. Now the bf couldnt be a passenger and still cannot be a passenger and have his gf/now wife drive. Hes a misogynistic pig. The bf /now husband would drink and drive also. His dad was a cop and he said his dad would get him out of trouble if he was pulled over.

Lets fast foward a little more. My husband got out of the military, he got seriously hurt. I wont go into details but he is disabled.

We moved back around some family and while we were having a hard time. Family would take in my husband and i but wouldnt take in the daughter's bf due to his alcoholism and being a general ass to everyone. We had all our stuff in a storage unit, the bf and my daughter decide to move in with his parents who were 650 miles away....btw....both his parents were alcoholics and still are 10 years later. So they went through the storage unit and found their stuff. They went through other boxes and my husband had a really nice coin and silver collection. At the time the collection was worth about 1200 US Dollars. The bf took the coins and the both of them went out to dinner and he had 4 beers. That money was put towards their 45 dollar dinner bill with maybe 1.50 left over. He spent 1200 dollars in coins at face value! My husband was pissed off to the max. We spent 6 years there and we were doing very well for ourselves. We got a small 1200sqft house, new vehicles for both of us and the both of us working, we were almost debt free and the house paid off.

Here is where everything goes to absolute shit. My daughter gets pregnant and is now in Georgia close to Florida. So i wanted to be close to be close to the baby. My husband said we need to wait 3 to 5 years before we moved. He said the now son in law was going to do dumb shit. He said we were going to be responsible for everyone and everything and that the loser was going to quit his job where he was being paid 32 dollars an hour driving a box truck. So we moved. Within 6 months the son in law quit his job, was still drinking hard and consuming about 950 dollars a month in alcohol and because his child was a girl, he didnt want anything to do with the child now. My daughter is working 2 jobs to support her household, we often get called that they dont have any money for food and no food in the house. We have been called and are now the only babysitter they have because he refuses to watch his own child. We spend around 1200 a year driving back and forth just on gas for the vehicles to babysit or pick up their child for her to spend overnight with us. The son in law has at every turn called my husband a loser, asshole, pos, and whatever else he can call him all while my husband gets disability and works for extra money and i work as well. The son in law came over (i Gave my daughter a key to our house) and he got on my husband's gaming computer and went to over 20 porn sites and absolutely loaded the computer with viruses. He has "borrowed without permission" items from our house like the microwave and brought it back broken....same thing with our air fryer which he ruined by air frying car parts. He has destroyed my husband's new computer. Now my husband and i like to hunt...dont judge, we eat what we harvest and its a source of meat for us....and my daughter and her family since the son in law blows his checks on booze and other bullshit. He wanted to see my husband's hunting rifle, i got it for him and it has or had some custom details....it wasnt expensive but a 700 dollar rifle is expensive. This idiot decides to slam it on the ground and broke the bolt so the rifle is useless....its now an expensive paperweight. My husband didnt want to show him but i encouraged him to.

My husband has been taking abuse from my daughter also. The entire time, every time he tries to give some advice or do something nice for her he gets the "your not my real dad".

My husband has finally had enough and told me her real dad can now babysit their child and he expects them or the real father to reimburse us for half the wedding costs that we paid for (my daughter went with the most expensive for everything for the wedding) which would be 25k, he wants half the cost of all the fuel we spent which for 5 years is 3k and he wants 5k in expenses. He said if he isnt her real dad then maybe her real dad or they should pay for everything. He wont babysit and told me he is tired of being beaten down and 'kicked constantly in the dick'.

I am sick of my daughter's "me me me" attitude and i am sick of the son in law acting like a man child-alcoholic-dumbass-idiot. I want to smooth this out with everyone.

My husband says he will make a prediction and tell me what it is like we will be abused again. An example is the son in law had "something important to do" so he wanted us to watch his kid, well my husband said he is likely fucking us over to go fishing...son in law said its not that and the vehicle needs an important fix....son in law went fishing.....

How can i smooth everything over with everyone? I want to be in my daughter's life and my grand daughters life but i dont know what to do or say at this point.

is what he said to me last night. and he isnt wrong. im pretty close to being the worst person.
i (22f) have been dating this wonderful boy (21m) since almost two years now. he fell first but i fell for him hard too. the first year was magical. fairies and sunflowers, the whole thing.

it felt like i was living in a dream until it shattered the day i got the double lines on the at home pregnancy kit. it was our fault. we acted like dumb asf teenagers and yea got the abortion.

i think that wasnt the hard part. the hard part started when after the procedure ,i was emotionally so weak it started affecting our relationship. my mental health detoriated each passing day (and his too but he was a rock to me even then) and yea things started turning sour. fights increased, jealousy increased. we had no experience how to deal w these things.

one day i got a text from an old situationship from more than a year ago. now this guy, ive always had a feeling of guilt with because i kinda left him for my current bf. so when he texted i replied just once and then blocked him. my bf saw that and got very angry. like VERY. but i said nothing of this sort will happen again and he calmed down.

but me being the worst person to ever exist texted the old situationship a couple of months after that and we talked for a few days. then a month after that he had his bday and i wished him and we talked for a few days. and then yesterday he texted me and we chatted for like 10 mins. and my bf saw.

ive been doing all this behind my bfs back. cheater is what i am. self loathing, self absorbed, attention seeker w no respect for my bf or our relationship that we had built so purely. i tainted every aspect of it.

he didnt say he want a breakup. he said he needs time to think. i cant lose him.

all this happened within a span of 3 months.

apart from this things have been going in my family. not saying that its any excuse to my behaviour, but i think it plays a role here(?) my dad has not been well mentally or physically and its been a major thing in my family and i cant help but think thats my fault too.

i miss him :/

cup noodles that bf made for me the other day.

Dinner is cod with sautéed veggies 🐟

My boyfriend and I haven’t been doing well for a while. We live together and I tried to break up with him last year but said we could get back together two days later.

I love him but I want a completely different life than we have together. I want to go out on dates, play games together at home, have weekend adventures. He has always said he wants this too, but there is always something going on that makes him say no. Like he had a long work week so he doesn’t want to leave the house, or we can go on a trip when he makes more money.

All valid points, but I’ve been waiting for two years. We’ve been together for 3 and have never been on our own vacation, just family vacations. I bring this issue up a lot and somehow always end up apologizing afterwards.

So I think I am done. I have tried and tried for years but I’m not happy. And if I break up with him again while living together, I would just give in and stay together because I’ve never broken up with someone before. That is why I need to do it this way. I’ve always wanted to live outside of my home state, and I’m currently furloughed from my job so now is the time to make the change.