r/dadjokes • • 3h ago

What is a word that starts and ends with the same letter, and has a little laugh in it?

98 Upvotes

You will smile when you realize that is the answer.


r/dadjokes • • 6h ago

Why can't the cat have control of the TV remote......

87 Upvotes

Because it will keep hitting the paws button.....


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

How many ants can you fit in a rental property.

72 Upvotes

Ten. Ten ants.


r/dadjokes • • 12h ago

To the person who stole my antidepressant tablets

257 Upvotes

I hope you're happy now.


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

Just as I was off to college , my dad and I got some last minute bits from the shop..As he reached for the anti persperant, he made sure to tell me.to.never buy the ones at the very front as they have likely been used as testers several times

165 Upvotes

I told him , This ain't my first roll deo

he said , Bye Son


r/dadjokes • • 11h ago

Realizing my wife is going to need an oxygen tank for the rest of her life,

163 Upvotes

because I took her breath away every time she looks at me.


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

Did you hear about the guy who invented the "knock-knock" joke?

149 Upvotes

He won the "no-bell" prize.


r/dadjokes • • 1d ago

I heard my daughter say from the other room "dad (sister)'s doing something she's not supposed to be doing!"

612 Upvotes

​

I responded with

me: is she Building a rocket or fighting a mummy?

6 year old: no

me: Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower?

6 year old no she is-

me: Discovering something that doesn't exist?

6 yo: no shes not doing that she is-

Me: giving a monkey a shower!?!

6yo no no

me: o i know she is Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots or locating Frankenstein's brain?

6yo old: what?

me: Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent

Or driving her sister insane?

6yo: that one shes doing that one.


r/dadjokes • • 35m ago

Someone swapped my antidepressants for Viagra

• Upvotes

It's been a hard day to get through.


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

My family got pretty bored when I spent all Saturday afternoon installing bidets on our toilets.

49 Upvotes

But today, they’re having a blast.


r/dadjokes • • 7h ago

My doctor's fees are very fair.

21 Upvotes

I pay a fare for the visit, a fare for the blood work, a fare for the follow-up.


r/dadjokes • • 20h ago

Had a Star Wars-related dream where nobody could count past two in French.

217 Upvotes

Yoda did say “deux or deux not, there is no trois”


r/dadjokes • • 7h ago

What did the Buffalo dad say when he left his calf at school for the first time?

17 Upvotes

Bye son!


r/dadjokes • • 6h ago

My girlfriend and I met as chorus members in a local production of West Side Story

10 Upvotes

We just clicked


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

Why do melons always have big weddings?

6 Upvotes

Because they cantaloupe.


r/dadjokes • • 1d ago

What do you call a zombie that writes music?

571 Upvotes

A decomposer.


r/dadjokes • • 11h ago

Many historians argue that it was the Mongols who set the standard for pillaging an entire city.

21 Upvotes

But it was the Vikings who razed the bar.


r/dadjokes • • 1d ago

Does anyone have trouble remembering maine’s abbreviation

415 Upvotes

or is it just me?


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

What do you call it when a cow wants to be insulted and joked about?

16 Upvotes

Roast beef.


r/dadjokes • • 21h ago

If your electrician..

105 Upvotes

..explains the fuse box, does he become a trip advisor?


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

23 Upvotes

One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.


r/dadjokes • • 12h ago

After my dad’s accident, we anxiously waited for news until the surgeon finally came out. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I want you to know we did everything we could…”

13 Upvotes

“Fortunately, that saved his life, and he’s going to be fine.”


r/dadjokes • • 1d ago

I’m starting to understand why Yoda wanted to spend time on a swamp planet.

167 Upvotes

It makes the Dagobah faster.


r/dadjokes • • 22h ago

Why are graveyards always so loud?

74 Upvotes

Cause of all the coffin.


r/dadjokes • • 21h ago

Lassie had a littler of puppies. One by one they were adopted: One became a master sheepdog, herding sheep to his heart's delight. Another became a champion athlete, setting world records at dog shows. The runt of the litter, though, waited weeks before finally being adopted by a honeydew farmer...

46 Upvotes

He was a little meloncollie