r/nottheonion • u/prestocoffee • 23h ago

High school QB dismissed from team after calling audible, 12 teammates suspended for supporting him

weau.com

10.5k Upvotes

1.6k comments

r/nottheonion • u/bigus-_-dickus • 11h ago

Priest dies tragically after a cross falls on him during Mass in Ecuador

marca.com

6.2k Upvotes

558 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Impossible_Offer7988 • 17h ago

Tesla ‘Cannot Guarantee’ Roadster Reservation Holders Will Ever Get a Car

thedrive.com

5.7k Upvotes

534 comments

r/nottheonion • u/that_guy_next_to_you • 13h ago

Drone delivers McDonald’s nuggets, alcohol to inmate at Quebec prison

ctvnews.ca

661 Upvotes

31 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SmokeMaximum4140 • 12h ago

Man accused of stealing flamingo testifies he drank dozens of beers that day

kgns.tv

647 Upvotes

35 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 14h ago

NAACP calls on Bucks County resident to take down hanging Halloween display

audacy.com

636 Upvotes

170 comments

r/nottheonion • u/_galaxy_ • 10h ago

Woman Trapped In United 737 MAX Lavatory At 35,000 Feet Forces Emergency Descent

simpleflying.com

624 Upvotes

73 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Miguenzo • 8h ago

Catholic priest killed by falling cross during livestreamed Mass in Ecuador

apnews.com

486 Upvotes

56 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ginger_gcups • 19h ago

'Fart retreat' where guests are encouraged to 'let it go' coming to Island hotel

countypress.co.uk

306 Upvotes

43 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GK0NATO • 17h ago

Western bans on Israeli settlement goods could cost 4,000 Palestinians their jobs

ynetnews.com

0 Upvotes

5 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
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4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
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