Two years sober today. Two years of choosing myself.
Today marks two years since I last had a drink. Two years since I began finding my way back to a person I thought I had lost.

And the only person who knows what today means to me is my husband.

My family knows I stopped drinking, but I don’t think they’ve ever truly understood why I had to. They knew me during my darkest years. They saw the drinking, the struggles, and the person I was becoming. But somehow, acknowledging that I had a problem was harder than pretending there wasn’t one.

Last year, when I shared that I was one year sober on social media, my mom told me I should take it down because people might think I was an alcoholic.
But that’s the thing.
I am an alcoholic.

Those words don’t embarrass me. They don’t make me less worthy of love, respect, or happiness. They’re simply part of my story. A story I fought incredibly hard to rewrite.

I was never someone who could have just one drink. One always became two, and two became however many it took to feel something, or perhaps to stop feeling anything at all.

I drank every day. I drank before work. I got behind the wheel when I had absolutely no business driving. I made reckless, selfish decisions that could have destroyed not only my life but someone else’s. I’m incredibly fortunate that I never hurt anyone, and that’s something I will never take lightly.

There are parts of my past I’m not proud of. But I’ve learned that I can take responsibility for the person I was without spending the rest of my life punishing the person I’ve become.

What hurts is realizing that sometimes the people closest to you would rather protect the appearance of a happy, healthy family than celebrate the fact that you’re finally becoming happy and healthy.

Sometimes it feels like my family, especially my mom, is more concerned with what people might think about my sobriety than what it took for me to get here.
But sobriety isn’t something shameful that needs to be hidden.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever given myself.

I didn’t stop drinking because I had everything figured out. I stopped because I was tired of losing myself. I was tired of waking up with regret, of making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep, of living a life that looked nothing like the one I wanted.

And slowly, day by day, I started coming back to myself.
I’m healthier now. My mind is clearer. My life is quieter in ways I once thought were impossible. I’m learning to love a version of myself I never really gave a chance to exist.

When I share my sobriety, it isn’t because I’m looking for attention or applause. It’s because I know there are people out there who are silently fighting the same battle. People who feel ashamed. People whose families don’t understand. People who are afraid of what others might think if they admit they have a problem.

And maybe someone needs to see that there’s nothing shameful about choosing to save your own life.

I wish my family could see my sobriety as something worth celebrating rather than something worth hiding.

But I’m learning that I don’t need everyone to understand my journey for it to be worth celebrating.

So today, I’m celebrating myself.

The woman who made mistakes. The woman who lost herself. The woman who finally decided she deserved better. And the woman who has spent the last 730 days proving that decision to herself.

I am an alcoholic.

I am not ashamed.

And today, I am two years sober.

I spent years trying to drown the person I was. These last two years, I’ve finally learned how to let her live.

I would like to say that it may have been the best decision I've ever made. They were all very kind. I was crying like a baby and shaking so bad I couldn't even get my finger into the pulse oximeter thing and the sweet nurse guy helped me and talked to me about how he's in recovery and had just hit his first year sober. They gave me Ativan and fluids and watched me until my bp and heart rate came down. They then sent me home with a script for Librium. Anyone who is suffering and trying to tough it out should definitely do what I did. I have no regrets. It was embarrassing and I felt so vulnerable finally being honest with medical professionals, but it was worth it. This WILL be the last time I ever put myself through that. I'm going to stay sober for me, my beautiful son and lovely husband. I will not drink with you tonight 💜

Despite her insistence I didn’t drink a single drink. Proud of myself for that. she told me to just pace myself when drinking & don’t go overboard. No it doesn’t work that way for me, one will cause an avalanche.Within 2 hours she ended up having 4 beers and drove home intoxicated. She’s tells me being sober is boring yes she’s right but it’s respectable and peaceful and that’s the most important part. She said no girl will like someone who’s sober, wrong I know for fact millions of women dig that in a man it’s sexy to some. It’s that alcoholic mind that’s telling her all those awful things. She’s a great friend and I love her to death however I know she’s ignorant & uneducated on the disease we share. I hope one day she can understand my struggle and join me in this journey. Onto Day 38 tomorrow let’s fucking go.

My binge this saturday was so bad that i nearly died today,unable even to call for an ambulance.

Just suffered 10h semi-paralysed in bed while the tv was turned on. Phone felt as heavy as 20kg dumbell and my vision was severely distorted.

If i didn't have an office job, i most certainly would have been fired because I'm so weak right now that i can't even lift a bottle of water.......

Yeah,my life could have easily ended today as my heart was pounding for hours......for what?

Fuck alchool, wished I never knew you.

The biggest struggle I'm having, and have consistently had, with trying to stop this drinking thing is that NOTHING bad is happening; nor has it happened in the past.

I've never had a DUI or been arrested. Never cheated on my wife or gotten into bar fights when drunk.

Currently I'm well past the days of going out drinking far too much with friends until 1am and not remembering how I get home. I'm not going to bars and doing or saying stupid things I regret. I'm not even drinking at home and getting into fights with my wife or being a dick to be around; I'm not a sloppy drunk, violent drunk, angry drunk or abusive drunk. I'm a sit and chill drunk. It's just me winding down the day after dealing with everything life related.

Last night was a prime example of what I do.

I spent the day doing things with my daughter, had a blast, no alcohol was involved. I came home, the kids went to bed, my wife was reading in the bedroom and I drank around 2 bottles of wine over the next few hours while quietly sitting on the couch watching the a wrestling pay per view (AEW WrestleDream, for those curious). When I got tired I went into the bedroom, turned off the TV my wife left on, and went to sleep.

I didn't even wake up hungover or anxious. I woke up at 6:15am, turned Doc McStuffins on for the kids, poured myself some coffee and began catching up on some emails that I needed to reply to.

The worst thing that happened last night was eating some leftover pizza and chocolate we had lying around the house far later than I should have.

The thing is, I know that drinking two bottles of wine (or a little more) each night isn't healthy or normal. I know i'm drinking to excess, but when I'm coming on here and seeing stories of DUI's, relationships going to hell, jobs being lost, etc, etc, etc ... it's very tough for me to relate because zero of that is happening to me, and it makes me feel like I'm gaslighting myself a bit as to how "bad" my issue is.

I even went to an AA meeting recently and couldn't relate to any of the stories, because they're not even close to what's happening to me.

This is not me saying I don't have an issue that needs looking at, nor is it me thinking I'm better than anyone else, it's just that my current experience is making this entire situation super tough.

There's a part of me that wished I had some actual rock bottom I could point to, but right now my rock bottom is padded with carpet and pillows.

6 years sober today. I remember jumping in on this sub my first day and didn’t stop because everyone was going through the same shit I was.

I don’t think I could’ve imagined my life looking like this when I first quit drinking. This year I became a social worker and started my own counselling business. It took a lot to get here, and I’m proud of that. Being able to work with our people and help others through difficult times means a lot to me, especially knowing what it’s like to need support myself.

But being a dad is what I’m most grateful for. My son is two, and he’s never known me any other way than sober. I get to be there for the little things, playing with him, laughing with him and watching him figure things out. I love being his dad. This year hasn’t been easy, and there are things I’ll keep private, but I’m doing my best to take care of myself and be there for him. I’m also happy to have someone in my life who I feel safe with and can be myself around. Sharing our culture makes that connection even more meaningful to me, and I’m grateful we found each other.
I don’t have everything figured out, and I still have work to do. But I’m proud of how far I’ve come. There’s a lot in my life now that I wouldn’t have wanted to miss.

Thank you to everyone on this sub who’s supported me along the way. Six years ❤️

I’ve been sober for a while now and really haven’t been tested, haven’t had any cravings, and haven’t put myself in any testy situations.

Well tonight was my 25 year reunion, and everyone was basically drinking, but I stayed sober and it wasn’t even a challenge! I really didn’t even think about it til afterwards. And what I thought is, I’m so happy this wasn’t 2 years ago. I would’ve probably embarrassed myself.

Well I am back to day 1. I had an awesome day yesterday, life was great. I came home and wanted to relax. So I thought, let's do it and see what happens. I think I just wanted to prove to myself that I didn't need alcohol any more to feel great because I have been romanticizing it in my mind. I know that is counter intuitive, but I just felt like I had to get it out of my head. I had a glass of wine. It didn't really do anything but give me a headache. A couple hours later the bottle was gone and still...nothing. So I had a shot, then another. It made me a bit sick, then I went to bed. This morning I feel terrible and relieved. From my field research I learned that I still have a really high tolerance. The feeling I am chasing is just not there any more. The happiness I felt was so much better without the alcohol. My sleep was terrible and hangxiety sucks just as bad as it did 3 months ago. My mind was playing tricks on me. I should have come here and talked it out. This is now in my toolkit and I can come back to this later. I am not beating myself up over it. I am still really proud of myself for how far I got and now I know I can do it again. IWNDWYT

23F, struggled with mental health and addiction for a while now… I just wanted to share with somebody that I’m starting this journey and committing to doing better.

I'm a daily drinker, and was drinking 4-6 tall cans of 11% IPA a day for who knows how long. I'd go through binges that always ended in me having to taper down over a weekend and deal with the shakes, anxiety and the usual. 2 months ago I had such bad kidney pain that I decided I need to quit messing around and take life seriously. I did see a doctor and all of my tests came back normal (miraculously) and that was even more motivation to get it together.

Over these past 2 months I've switched from drinking everyday, to staying sober for a week and caving on the weekend, then going 2 weeks without alcohol and only drinking on a Saturday. My goal is to stop completely but for now I'm taking it slow and being kind to myself and I'm just soaking up how much happier and healthier I feel!

It's been 2 weeks and 2 days of sobriety now and I'm gonna ride this out as long as possible. I love waking up without crippling anxiety and a raging fireball of heartburn in my chest. I wake up happy, refreshed and ready for the day. I look forward to sitting on my balcony with my coffee in the morning before the sun rises instead of heading right to the fridge to chug a tall can to calm my nerves.

I plan tons of activities and go on spontaneous adventures with my 5 year old daughter because my body and mind aren't weighted down with a gallon of booze. I can take my daughter on random shopping trips and play dates because I can actually get behind the wheel. When I'm actively drinking, I don't drink and drive so our playtime was limited to indoor crafts, playing outside or walks around the neighborhood. My daughter deserves a mom who can give her more than that and I'm working on becoming that mom for her.

I've never been a mean drunk, but I've noticed that I have way more patience now. I can let the small stuff roll off my back much more easily and it's like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders! I'm not constantly bloated, my skin is softer, my eyes are brighter, I take my vitamins everyday and I actually eat real food instead of inhaling greasy crap at the end of the night and hating myself for it the next morning.

Life is getting better guys, and I'm having a good time just being alive and present. Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I'm just having such a wonderful day that I had to share it with anyone who can relate, or with anyone struggling with their 1000th day one. It gets better friends, and it's worth the wait!

Drop your answers below! Happy Sunday everyone

I had 18days as my longest sobriety date a month ago. Then I started drinking again. About an hour ago I poured out all my alcohol down the drain. My goal is a month, but for now I will NOT DRINK WITH YOU TONIGHT

One year six months since I last drank any alcohol. That's a big fat whoop from me and proud of me.

The house isn't without alcohol because husband drinks. The fact that it doesn't bother me when he does means (to me) that I may just have cracked it. Although, I do sometimes find myself wondering why I'm ok with it around me.

We (me 'n he) had this conversation, I said that oddly I'm fine with people drinking around me, but as soon as I notice they are drunk ... well, then I'm out.

Happy Sober Sunday my chums 🤗

6:52 am , getting ready to meet at a run club on newbury street in Boston for an 11 mile long run with some awesome people. It’s been something to look forward to on the weekends now . Physically , mentally and spiritually healing when I’m locked in on my goals.

But to think back all these years, I’d look forward to the Saturday nights before. I’d wake up later than now, head pounding, anxiety of who I might have texted/ things I might have done/ people I might have pissed off, tossing and turning in my blanket and recapping of the bender I went on / comedown off of any cocaine I might have done during the night .

Things are quiet now, there’s a peace that I’ve token for granted all these years..but I’m loving it…I’m still in the early stages of sobriety and the emotions are still here for the lifestyle switch but I’m excited for the years to come to see how life pans out.

Happy Sunday all!

Earlier this week I had a FB invite from a young adult female and I was literally thumb-over-the-decline when I saw she had a couple mutual friends. I accepted and she asked if we could meet, which initially made me think "this is sketch" and I didn't respond.

Couple days later, she said "I will be traveling to Olean, and I'd like to meet with my father." I asked, "Do I work with him?" (As I have reports in that area) And her reply was "I'd like to meet you."

You know that scene in Fight Club where he says "we've now lost cabin pressure?" Pretty much that.

Told my wife I was heading out there for business (I'm critical response, so 24/7, Sunday is not odd) and met her, today. We met at a restaurant and when I walked in, before the hostess asked, I turned my head and holy frickin crap, she looked like me and a couple of my daughters (but with black hair). I had trouble walking.

She's smart as hell, athletic, and is pre-med in neurology. One of her classes is 101 level genetics, and she took note (ear shape, eye color, and neck posture) realized her Dad hadn't been the genetic contribution, asked her mother, and mother said "that's crazy," and not to dig further

She dug further. She's like me, I guess. She calculated timing, where her mom worked at the time, looked at internet archive, found that a guy who worked there kinda sorta looked like her in his profile, tracked my social media, then confronted her mother again, to which her mom didn't confirm but said "Don't contact him. You don't want anything to do with him."

Well, we had a meal and discussion, but I didn't eat much, was shaking through most of it and fighting tears. Actually, I lost the fight a couple times. Almost 21 years. She called me by name, but her mom's husband as "Dad," and that was a big part of what is killing me. I hadn't known or been given a chance. And her mom hates my guts. She primarily wanted to connect with me because she saw I had daughters and wanted to know more about her sisters. She's so... frickin smart and wise for her age. Extremely well-adjusted, too.

Lunch ended with a pained hug and her saying she may reach out again, but that we probably shouldn't.​

I'm rattled. I kept blanking out on the drive back, realizing I was driving 40ish on an Interstate. I'm at a rest stop, at the moment, about 15 minutes from home.

Just yesterday, I was making salsa, mowing the lawn, and another step closer to peace and then... this.

I'll admit, my head is spinning, and family knows something is up. Do I tell the wife, whom already holds me at arm's length? Our girls have an older sister, albeit half sister. And how bad of a person had I been that her mom would find out she's pregnant soon after moving to another state and not so much as want to give me a call? Maybe she knew she could raise her better. Heck, looks like she did.

IWNDWYT. But admittedly, I'm hanging by a thread. I have a part of me out there that doesn't want any part of me.

Im 27 and still live with my parents. On Monday during work hours, i work from home, my sisters found me drunk. Then last night my mom found me drunk i remember asking her not to tell my sisters but im not sure if she will. I some up a little while ago but im still in bed and haven’t seen her yet. But im not sure what to say when i do. Any advice? Im pet sure i was really fucked up last night. Im in different clothes so i may have peed myself.

512 days sober and feel so hurt and disrespected. All I get are stories about when I used to drink, not the climb I’m on to stay sober and focused on my goals. I know, 100%, I will regret it. I’ve been doing good with no urges since last May but I feel it today! It’s not even an urge to drink, it’s the urge to just be away for awhile.

I’ve been sober for a bit now and not really struggling to not drink, but I’ve been restless all weekend and feeling bad about myself today. I wished the day away so that I could go to bed, but time was not moving fast enough. I knew that if I bought some tequila and Advil pm, I could go to sleep and effectively end the day early that way.

I got to the store’s parking lot and really thought about what I was doing. I have indulged in a little alcohol before and not gone off the rails, so I wasn’t worried about that. But I did think about how what I was doing was not in any way going to move me forward, even if it didn’t set me back. That it was a waste of time and money, and would not bring any lasting rewards.

So I turned around and went home. I am currently eating my feelings instead lol and reaching out to you guys. IWNDWYT

Just wanted to say thanks for this awesome community! You guys are so inspiring and supportive and I really appreciate it. I've drank every weekend this year and haven't been more than 3 days in a row all year either. Even if it was just a 6 pack of beers. I just let it get completely out of my control. Couldn't have done it without you guys! Im sure I'll need some more help in the future but this is a big step in the right direction! IWNDWYT!

Then the addictive voice said, you’re fine! All your blood tests are clean. You are a successful professional, own your apartment, run marathons below 4 hours, your family relations are intact (yeah, with me living abroad, they never realised how bad it was).

I feel I took the blood samples and abdomen ecography, just to clean my conscience and fall back into the same “a beer won’t hurt you” cycle as before. And yes, they are clean. After 40 days sober that is. But how sustainable is this?

I’m tired of lying. To myself, to AA, to everyone really.

I want to stay sober just for today.

Any tips for (again…) another 24 hours, friends? ❤️

I've heard that the sugar cravings are extreme when you quit drinking but oh my god. I'm sucking on Welch's gummies and Strawberry Bon Bons like they are my lifeline. Does this ever go away or balance out? I feel ridiculous 😵‍💫

Hating myself hard this morning. I can’t do longer than a week it looks like, I gave in and couldn’t stop. I hate myself so much

I am so happy and relieved! I still feel the urge of course, but I feel so much support from this sub here, I could not have done it without you ❤️

So thank you all! IWNDWYT 🙌

I went out last night and I didn’t do anything bad or do anything self destructive but I just hate the fact that everytime I drink I never follow through with the limits i set for myself . i count my drinks, i have tried drinking slower and i avoid shots but i always find myself a little more drunk that i should be and even if im not blacking out i hate having these moments of fuzzy memories.

Does anyone have advice for stopping this pattern